1
00:02:01,330 --> 00:02:03,206
This is it. Carry on.

2
00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:07,669
- Well, where is he?
- Where is who, sir?

3
00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:11,590
This is the 506 Fighter
Interceptor Squadron, US Air Force?

4
00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:14,926
I am Major Foskett,
British Army Medical Corps.

5
00:02:15,093 --> 00:02:17,220
Er... I've come to pick up
one of your chaps.

6
00:02:17,346 --> 00:02:20,098
Damn it, he's supposed to be here
at 1600 hours.

7
00:02:20,223 --> 00:02:21,350
Well, he isn't here, sir.

8
00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:23,352
Your lot have
obviously tripped up.

9
00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:25,812
- I'll talk to your camp commandant.
- Now, just a minute, sir!

10
00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:28,106
I am a major.
You are a sergeant.

11
00:02:28,190 --> 00:02:30,359
Majors give orders,
sergeants obey them.

12
00:02:30,442 --> 00:02:31,360
Lift that pole.

13
00:02:31,443 --> 00:02:34,655
- But I'm not even in your army, sir.
- That's not my fault.

14
00:02:35,072 --> 00:02:37,324
Lift that pole.
Drive on.

15
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,289
Gentlemen, I now refer to
a memorandum

16
00:02:44,373 --> 00:02:45,957
received from the
Secretary of Defense,

17
00:02:46,041 --> 00:02:47,834
which you all have
in front of you,

18
00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:51,630
requesting a sizeable cutback
in military expenditure for this year.

19
00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:54,675
We also have to lose
a number of our personnel,

20
00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:56,802
who are currently
based here in England.

21
00:02:56,885 --> 00:02:59,554
Oh, good!
I was looking for the top brass,

22
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,306
and, by Jove,
here you all are.

23
00:03:01,390 --> 00:03:04,559
Er... Major Foskett,
Royal Army Medical Corps, sir.

24
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:06,561
Medical Corps?
Somebody ill?

25
00:03:06,645 --> 00:03:09,731
I... I say, which one of
you chaps is Colonel Fraser?

26
00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:11,274
At least, I think it's Fraser.

27
00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:13,276
Rather difficult to tell,
the way you chaps write.

28
00:03:13,402 --> 00:03:17,155
Major, this is a top-level briefing.
Would you get out of here?!

29
00:03:17,239 --> 00:03:20,826
Sir, I have a chit here,
signed by Colonel Fraser,

30
00:03:20,909 --> 00:03:22,953
promising me a man
at 1600 hours.

31
00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:27,082
At this precise moment,
it is 1620 hours.

32
00:03:27,249 --> 00:03:29,584
Colonel Fraser, take Major Foskett,

33
00:03:29,668 --> 00:03:31,753
find out what he wants,
and get rid of him!

34
00:03:31,837 --> 00:03:33,130
Yes, sir.

35
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:35,632
Thank you so much.
Do carry on.

36
00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:37,926
I detailed a man
to report to the main gate.

37
00:03:38,009 --> 00:03:40,011
A Lieutenant Morton.
He must be there.

38
00:03:42,264 --> 00:03:43,765
Sorry, fellas.

39
00:03:44,433 --> 00:03:46,184
Women drivers! Crazy!

40
00:03:46,268 --> 00:03:47,310
Well, so long, honey.

41
00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:50,731
Sorry we missed that last race,
but it was a great day. Just great.

42
00:03:50,814 --> 00:03:52,899
Even if I was
the only one dressed like this.

43
00:03:53,024 --> 00:03:56,737
I did tell you, Tim.
We only wear all that for Ascot.

44
00:03:58,155 --> 00:03:59,781
Lieutenant Morton!

45
00:04:00,866 --> 00:04:02,409
Well, duty calls.

46
00:04:06,037 --> 00:04:08,331
You were under orders
to report here at 1600 hours.

47
00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:11,168
Ah, yes, sorry, sir.
A hitch over transport.

48
00:04:11,293 --> 00:04:12,961
- You'll have to go.
- Go, sir?

49
00:04:13,044 --> 00:04:15,338
I don't think he quite
understands, Colonel.

50
00:04:15,464 --> 00:04:17,215
It's a sort of test,
as it were.

51
00:04:17,382 --> 00:04:19,176
Someone's got to
represent us.

52
00:04:19,301 --> 00:04:21,052
Actually, an initiative test.

53
00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:24,806
A sort of, er...
a psychologically designed exercise.

54
00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:26,641
- Initiative?
- Now, look here, Morton.

55
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,935
I'll not have the
US Air Force let down.

56
00:04:29,019 --> 00:04:32,105
Oh, by the way,
the first chap that's home wins.

57
00:04:32,189 --> 00:04:33,982
And that's got to be you.

58
00:04:34,065 --> 00:04:36,485
Ah, yes, sir.
That's quite clear. Er...

59
00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:38,153
But what the heck
do I have to do?

60
00:04:38,236 --> 00:04:40,822
- Do your best, Morton.
- Oh, right, yes.

61
00:04:40,906 --> 00:04:42,157
Now, the first thing
I suggest is that

62
00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:44,659
you get out of those
utterly ridiculous clothes.

63
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:46,787
I mean, better naked
than overdressed.

64
00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:53,293
Oi!

65
00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:56,671
You're too early.
Fancy dress ball's not fill Christmas.

66
00:04:57,839 --> 00:05:00,634
I wonder if you realise
who you're talking to.

67
00:05:00,759 --> 00:05:02,928
Let's have some
identification, then.

68
00:05:03,094 --> 00:05:05,430
One-four-four-nine-eight-
three-nought-eight.

69
00:05:05,514 --> 00:05:07,057
McGregor, Sergeant Major.

70
00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:09,976
Quite right to ask, of course.

71
00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:12,687
Now, then, stand properly.

72
00:05:12,771 --> 00:05:14,147
To attention!

73
00:05:14,856 --> 00:05:16,233
Chin down!

74
00:05:16,775 --> 00:05:18,068
Collar up!

75
00:05:19,069 --> 00:05:21,780
That's better.
Feel better for that, don't you?

76
00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:23,698
Good.

77
00:05:23,782 --> 00:05:25,408
Damn sauce.

78
00:05:26,952 --> 00:05:28,328
Champagne cocktail, sir?

79
00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:30,080
Well, thank you!

80
00:05:30,622 --> 00:05:32,123
Hey, this is fine. Fine.

81
00:05:32,207 --> 00:05:33,875
- Treating us nicely, huh?
- Mmm.

82
00:05:33,959 --> 00:05:36,545
Is that what you think?
I tell you, they're fattening us up

83
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:38,421
for the slaughter.
I know the Army.

84
00:05:38,547 --> 00:05:39,464
Oh?

85
00:05:39,548 --> 00:05:41,049
I should have another one
if I was you,

86
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:43,301
while you can still enjoy it.

87
00:05:43,385 --> 00:05:45,929
You wait and see, Yank.
They're gonna put us through it.

88
00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:47,889
Here, waiter.
Another champagne cocktail.

89
00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:50,600
- Europe, huh?
- So I believe.

90
00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:53,562
Nice bunch of flags you got there.
Shows where everyone is.

91
00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:56,731
If that pin is supposed to be me,
it should be there.

92
00:05:56,815 --> 00:05:57,816
Monte Carlo.

93
00:05:57,899 --> 00:06:00,193
Hey, they won't be sending us
out of the country, will they?

94
00:06:00,277 --> 00:06:02,821
- I don't know.
- Well, they can't do that to me. I...

95
00:06:02,904 --> 00:06:05,282
- I'm a married man.
- Congratulations.

96
00:06:05,448 --> 00:06:06,950
You see,
I've got nine kiddies.

97
00:06:07,075 --> 00:06:08,034
Nine?!

98
00:06:08,243 --> 00:06:11,830
Yeah, well, what I mean is,
I don't like leaving the wife alone.

99
00:06:11,955 --> 00:06:14,040
Er... This is it, huh?
Just the four of us?

100
00:06:14,165 --> 00:06:16,877
Oh, I've no idea, old chap.
They may add an Eskimo or two.

101
00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:22,090
Good grief!
Right off a whisky label.

102
00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:24,384
Permission to carry on, sir.

103
00:06:24,509 --> 00:06:27,137
- Please do, Sergeant Major.
- Thank you, sir.

104
00:06:31,308 --> 00:06:34,311
- Water, Sergeant Major?
- Water? In Scotch whisky?

105
00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:36,771
It's a drink I want, not a wash.

106
00:06:36,980 --> 00:06:40,358
Hey, watch him knock it back!

107
00:06:41,192 --> 00:06:43,486
<i>Lang may yer lum reek!</i>

108
00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:46,072
It's an old regimental custom.

109
00:06:46,197 --> 00:06:47,866
I'm surprised it survived.

110
00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:50,660
I'll go and get a lemonade.

111
00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:53,079
Fine weather, sir,
for the job on hand.

112
00:06:53,204 --> 00:06:54,623
- Oh, yes, indeed.
- Well, that's something.

113
00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:57,667
Oh, sir.
The name is McGregor, Sydney.

114
00:06:58,209 --> 00:06:59,878
Tim Morton.
Happy to meet you.

115
00:06:59,961 --> 00:07:02,631
Oh, um... How do you do, sir?
Excuse the glove.

116
00:07:02,714 --> 00:07:05,759
Um... Just one wee
word of advice, sir.

117
00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:08,637
Don't be too familiar
with the lower ranks in this country.

118
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:11,056
It doesn't do, sir.
It doesn't do. Does it, sir?

119
00:07:11,222 --> 00:07:12,682
Thank you.

120
00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:14,935
Well, gentlemen, here we are.

121
00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:16,144
Good morning.

122
00:07:16,394 --> 00:07:18,855
Perhaps you'd like to come
a little closer, would you?

123
00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:20,607
That's right,
And you, if you will.

124
00:07:20,732 --> 00:07:23,026
I think you'll find
there are chairs for you.

125
00:07:23,318 --> 00:07:24,986
Make yourself comfortable.

126
00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:26,655
Will you speak up,
if you're here, please.

127
00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:29,407
Sergeant Mansfield,
Army Corps of Transport.

128
00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:30,617
Here, sir.

129
00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:32,786
Lieutenant Morton,
United States Air Force.

130
00:07:32,911 --> 00:07:33,954
Here.

131
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:36,247
Captain Tabasco,
Brigade of Guards.

132
00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:37,332
Yes, indeed.

133
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:39,834
Sergeant Major McGregor,
Kirriemuir Highlanders.

134
00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:41,336
Huzzah!

135
00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:42,754
Good heavens.

136
00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:46,967
- Sergeant Clegg, Royal Engineers.
- Here, sir.

137
00:07:47,926 --> 00:07:49,552
- All seem to be present, sir.
- Thank you very much.

138
00:07:49,678 --> 00:07:51,888
Now, gentlemen.

139
00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:56,434
It's not for me to remind you
that this is the age of nuclear warfare.

140
00:07:56,518 --> 00:07:59,479
But I think you'll agree with me
that there will always be more to fighting

141
00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:01,272
than just the pressing of a button.

142
00:08:01,398 --> 00:08:04,109
Tricky situations will still turn up,

143
00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:05,360
and then what will happen?

144
00:08:05,527 --> 00:08:07,821
That brings us
to the important point.

145
00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:09,364
Initiative.

146
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:11,408
How shall we test it?

147
00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:13,952
For the next forty-eight hours,
you're going to be entirely on your own.

148
00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:16,037
No-one will be allowed to help you.

149
00:08:16,121 --> 00:08:18,623
And the first man back
with everything done

150
00:08:18,707 --> 00:08:20,917
will be the man we're looking for.

151
00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:23,586
The complete soldier of today.

152
00:08:23,712 --> 00:08:26,047
Alert, wide awake, selfless.

153
00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:30,176
The sort of man that we'll want
to pull up the promotion ladder

154
00:08:30,301 --> 00:08:31,803
right to the top. Now, then.

155
00:08:31,886 --> 00:08:35,432
For the winner,
we've arranged a little treat.

156
00:08:35,974 --> 00:08:37,684
A ten-day trip,

157
00:08:37,767 --> 00:08:39,644
with all expenses paid,
of course,

158
00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:41,980
with a guest.
You can take your girlfriend,

159
00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:43,231
your mother if you like.

160
00:08:43,314 --> 00:08:46,151
A ten-day trip around the world.

161
00:08:46,484 --> 00:08:47,485
Ten days?

162
00:08:47,902 --> 00:08:50,113
Well, that's as long as we can
spare a man of that calibre.

163
00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:51,614
Now, there is one more point,
gentlemen.

164
00:08:51,740 --> 00:08:53,533
We have attempted
tests like this before

165
00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:54,701
and had to drop them,

166
00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:56,286
owing to what we considered

167
00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:58,038
rather selfish complaints
from the public

168
00:08:58,163 --> 00:09:00,999
and uninformed
questions in Parliament.

169
00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:02,876
So, if any of you get into trouble,

170
00:09:03,001 --> 00:09:05,712
we shall deny all knowledge of you.

171
00:09:05,837 --> 00:09:09,466
Now, I'll let our Psychological Officer
put you completely in the picture.

172
00:09:09,591 --> 00:09:12,260
Major... Oh, there you are.
Major Foskett.

173
00:09:13,970 --> 00:09:15,263
Thank you, sir.

174
00:09:15,346 --> 00:09:16,723
Well, chaps...

175
00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:17,557
Oh!

176
00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:18,767
Not to bother, sir. Allow me.

177
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:20,810
I'd like to see that lot
tested for initiative.

178
00:09:21,102 --> 00:09:22,270
They must be joking.

179
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,522
Royal Hunt week, too.
What a bore.

180
00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:28,193
I want you to imagine that
the whole country has been devastated.

181
00:09:28,318 --> 00:09:29,360
Pulverised.

182
00:09:29,486 --> 00:09:31,279
Not one blade of grass standing.

183
00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:35,325
And it's up to you chaps to
penetrate this enemy-held territory,

184
00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:38,912
and rescue a few symbols
of the British way of life

185
00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:41,039
to be buried for posterity.

186
00:09:41,331 --> 00:09:42,582
Britain.

187
00:09:42,957 --> 00:09:44,292
England.

188
00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:46,920
What magic this word conjures up.

189
00:09:47,045 --> 00:09:48,254
By God, you're right, sir.

190
00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:51,341
Shakespeare, Tennyson, Rupert Brooke.

191
00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:53,009
Rupert Brooke.

192
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:56,304
"Ah! Yet stands the village clock
at ten to three?

193
00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:58,473
"And is there honey still for tea?"

194
00:09:58,556 --> 00:10:00,225
Oh, do get on with it, Foskett.

195
00:10:00,391 --> 00:10:01,476
Oh, so sorry, sir.

196
00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:03,144
Well, now, chaps, down to work.

197
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:05,855
Now, you're all being handed out
a list of objects

198
00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:08,525
which I very carefully selected
as representative

199
00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:11,820
of the British way of life
in its broadest terms, of course.

200
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:14,531
Well, now, the first object
which you will find

201
00:10:14,656 --> 00:10:18,118
is a Silver Lady emblem,
from a Rolls-Royce motor car.

202
00:10:18,243 --> 00:10:19,285
You see one here.

203
00:10:19,410 --> 00:10:21,704
Matter of fact, I took it from
General Lockwood's motor car.

204
00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:22,455
What's that?

205
00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:24,415
Just in case you chaps
thought of whipping it.

206
00:10:24,541 --> 00:10:26,668
Now, secondly, er...

207
00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:32,090
Secondly, a blushing
harbinger of spring,

208
00:10:32,215 --> 00:10:34,217
Lady Frances McDonald.

209
00:10:34,342 --> 00:10:36,553
I'll leave you to puzzle
that one out for yourself.

210
00:10:36,678 --> 00:10:38,721
Lady Frances McDonald.

211
00:10:38,847 --> 00:10:42,350
Thirdly, an electric hare
from a greyhound racetrack.

212
00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:44,018
An electric hare.

213
00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:47,939
Fourthly, a flight of
those plaster ducks.

214
00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:48,940
Plaster ducks.

215
00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:50,733
Or ducks on tiles would do.

216
00:10:50,859 --> 00:10:52,569
They're all rather out of fashion.

217
00:10:52,735 --> 00:10:55,321
But I'm sure you'll find them
if you look hard enough.

218
00:10:55,446 --> 00:10:58,533
And, fifthly, a look of hair

219
00:10:58,616 --> 00:11:02,620
from that rather gorgeous
French pop singer, Sylvie Tarnet.

220
00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:03,621
Sylvie Tarnet.

221
00:11:03,746 --> 00:11:07,375
Oh, by the way, just in case,
we'd rather like to know

222
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:10,295
it is her hair,
so we'll want her autograph as well.

223
00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:14,424
Well, now, so far
you have five objects.

224
00:11:14,549 --> 00:11:16,134
The sixth is a secret,

225
00:11:16,259 --> 00:11:19,304
but you'll find out what it is
when you collect your sealed orders

226
00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:22,849
from the desk at Tweedles Club,
in London, tomorrow,

227
00:11:22,974 --> 00:11:25,226
between 1500 and 1600 hours.

228
00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:26,227
Three o'clock.

229
00:11:26,311 --> 00:11:27,896
You have to collect
all these objects.

230
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:30,064
Don't spend too much time
on any one.

231
00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:32,317
And be back here
in forty-eight hours.

232
00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:35,028
That is, 1000 hours,
the day after tomorrow.

233
00:11:35,153 --> 00:11:36,738
Now, any questions?

234
00:11:38,781 --> 00:11:42,202
- Permission to speak, please, sir.
- Carry on, Sergeant Major.

235
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:46,706
Well, sir, I think there's
the possibility of a misprint,

236
00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:49,876
because I distinctly heard you say
"Lady McDonald",

237
00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:52,712
but here, it says
"Lady MacDonaugh".

238
00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:54,505
Yes, yes, yes.
Well, you can spell it either way.

239
00:11:54,631 --> 00:11:56,591
I understand that you...
you know what it means.

240
00:11:56,674 --> 00:11:59,802
Oh, yes, sir.
I know what it means, all right.

241
00:11:59,928 --> 00:12:01,054
Thank you, sir.

242
00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:05,892
Er, this Lady MacDonaugh.
How far do we go?

243
00:12:06,017 --> 00:12:07,560
Er... No holds barred?

244
00:12:07,685 --> 00:12:10,063
You heard what the general
said on that score.

245
00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:14,108
If you're ready, perhaps you'd
change into your civilian clothes,

246
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:16,152
and I'll show you
to the starting point.

247
00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:17,862
Oh, just-just... just one point.

248
00:12:17,987 --> 00:12:20,823
Er, please leave all
your ready cash with me.

249
00:12:20,949 --> 00:12:23,201
You'll remember that the banks
have been devastated

250
00:12:23,284 --> 00:12:25,286
and that means, of course,
cheque books as well.

251
00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:26,746
Come on.

252
00:12:27,121 --> 00:12:29,916
Er, take 'em to the starting line,
will you, please, Foskett?

253
00:12:29,999 --> 00:12:31,793
I've got a little bit of business
to attend to.

254
00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:34,837
- Good luck to you all.
- Thank you, sir.

255
00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:38,049
Now, chaps, this is a maze.

256
00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:40,927
A snare that you have got to
find your way out of.

257
00:12:41,052 --> 00:12:43,096
Now, your starting point
is the centre.

258
00:12:43,221 --> 00:12:46,849
Oh. Now, after you've
found your way out,

259
00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:49,769
if we catch you within
a radius of one mile,

260
00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:52,105
we're gonna bring you
right back here to square one.

261
00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:54,857
In fact, we shall be looking for you
for that first mile.

262
00:12:54,983 --> 00:12:56,651
Should be rather fun, actually.

263
00:12:56,985 --> 00:12:58,653
All right, Cecil,
will you take them away?

264
00:12:58,736 --> 00:13:00,655
Righto, chaps.
Come along, follow me.

265
00:13:01,322 --> 00:13:03,324
- Bye-bye, sir.
- Goodbye, Clegg.

266
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:11,416
Right, chaps,
I'm now going to direct you to the start.

267
00:13:11,874 --> 00:13:14,669
So follow my instructions
very carefully.

268
00:13:15,169 --> 00:13:16,587
Make your way to the centre.

269
00:13:17,255 --> 00:13:19,716
To your right, Lieutenant Morton.
That's it.

270
00:13:19,841 --> 00:13:21,509
Follow Sergeant Major MacGregor.

271
00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:24,012
Now, to your left,
Sergeant Major,

272
00:13:24,762 --> 00:13:27,265
Sergeant Clegg, straight on.

273
00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:28,933
And now to your right.

274
00:13:29,017 --> 00:13:30,560
No, right.

275
00:13:33,104 --> 00:13:34,188
Well done.

276
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:37,025
It's ten o'clock exactly,

277
00:13:37,108 --> 00:13:39,027
so you have
forty-eight hours to get out,

278
00:13:39,277 --> 00:13:41,321
find your objects and return here.

279
00:13:41,446 --> 00:13:43,781
All right. On your marks,

280
00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:45,616
get set...

281
00:13:58,463 --> 00:14:00,465
It's no good that way. Oh!

282
00:14:01,424 --> 00:14:03,593
There's a gap. There's a gap.
I'm out. I'm out.

283
00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:05,803
I'm out. I'm out.

284
00:14:06,054 --> 00:14:08,014
I'm in.
Back at the start, eh?

285
00:14:09,057 --> 00:14:11,017
You're staying, I see, sir.

286
00:14:11,392 --> 00:14:13,144
I think I'll carry on,
if you don't mind.

287
00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:19,400
This is crazy, just crazy.

288
00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:22,153
And it doesn't help to have them
sitting up there watching either.

289
00:14:22,236 --> 00:14:24,781
Not to worry, old boy.
If I know my fellow officers,

290
00:14:24,906 --> 00:14:26,699
they won't stay out in the cold
for long.

291
00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:28,117
Who are you writing to?

292
00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:30,745
Oh, just a letter to
an old friend.

293
00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:42,590
- Well, er, time for a cup of tea, I think.
- Tea! Oh, very important, yes.

294
00:14:46,511 --> 00:14:48,346
<i>Póg mo thóin!</i>

295
00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:51,057
Scotland forever!

296
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:04,821
What on Earth are you looking at?

297
00:15:04,946 --> 00:15:07,615
Put that objectionable object down.
Stand up straight!

298
00:15:08,074 --> 00:15:09,242
That's better.

299
00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:10,993
There you are. I told you.

300
00:15:11,119 --> 00:15:12,745
Well, I don't see how that helps.

301
00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:14,122
Time for action.

302
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:16,416
I say, you there.

303
00:15:17,875 --> 00:15:19,669
Wake up, man, over here.

304
00:15:21,963 --> 00:15:24,966
- Get this delivered, as quick as you can.
- Right, sir.

305
00:15:26,551 --> 00:15:27,718
At the double, fellow.

306
00:15:27,844 --> 00:15:29,220
Come back here!

307
00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:32,432
Weren't you taught to salute an officer?

308
00:15:32,557 --> 00:15:34,267
Oh, sorry, sir.

309
00:15:36,060 --> 00:15:39,272
Can't have the fellow slacking,
wasting the taxpayers' money.

310
00:15:39,397 --> 00:15:41,649
- Let's wander back to the middle.
- What for?

311
00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:43,985
We wait, my dear fellow.
That's all. Just wait.

312
00:15:49,031 --> 00:15:50,450
Oh, hell.

313
00:15:56,998 --> 00:15:58,499
Dig? Me?

314
00:15:58,624 --> 00:16:00,293
I'm a married man.

315
00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:07,175
Well, we're not
getting anywhere this way.

316
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:08,843
Have you got a plan,
my dear fellow?

317
00:16:08,926 --> 00:16:11,262
Well, anything's better
than just sitting here.

318
00:16:11,387 --> 00:16:13,431
Hey, what's that?

319
00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:16,267
Yes, that'll be Binkie.

320
00:16:18,352 --> 00:16:19,562
Binkie?

321
00:16:19,687 --> 00:16:21,230
A chap I was at school with.

322
00:16:21,522 --> 00:16:23,316
Hey, over here! Come on!

323
00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:25,151
Man, this is great!

324
00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:26,736
Spare your breath, Mr Morton.

325
00:16:26,861 --> 00:16:30,198
Binkie may not be too bright,
but he knows exactly where to come.

326
00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:39,207
Look!

327
00:16:48,216 --> 00:16:49,383
Come back!

328
00:16:51,219 --> 00:16:52,220
Come down!

329
00:17:04,732 --> 00:17:07,360
I say, sir!
There's initiative for you!

330
00:17:29,924 --> 00:17:32,218
Right, everyone!
Forward!

331
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:36,222
Come on, come along.

332
00:17:38,224 --> 00:17:39,892
Foskett'll bring them back alive.

333
00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:45,064
Do you think that fellow Foskett's
right in the head?

334
00:17:45,189 --> 00:17:47,567
Queer fish,
these psychology fellas.

335
00:17:50,861 --> 00:17:52,154
Lunatic!

336
00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:54,115
That pilot might have killed us.

337
00:17:55,324 --> 00:17:57,410
Well, nobody asked
you to come, Sergeant.

338
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:04,875
They've come off!

339
00:18:05,001 --> 00:18:06,377
They must be in those woods over there.

340
00:18:06,502 --> 00:18:08,879
Come on, let's catch 'em,
and put 'em back in the maze.

341
00:18:09,005 --> 00:18:10,756
Hurry. Come on.

342
00:18:14,677 --> 00:18:17,013
Come on, men! Faster! Faster!

343
00:18:17,305 --> 00:18:18,180
What now?

344
00:18:18,306 --> 00:18:19,223
Well, do as you please.

345
00:18:19,307 --> 00:18:21,517
Personally, I'm gonna see about
a spot of lunch.

346
00:18:21,642 --> 00:18:23,644
- Good day to you both.
- Lunch?

347
00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:25,938
What's he gonna do?
Stab a grouse with his umbrella?

348
00:18:26,022 --> 00:18:27,732
- Grouse?
<i>- Tally ho!</i>

349
00:18:27,857 --> 00:18:30,401
Uh-oh, the hunt's on. Get lost!

350
00:18:45,374 --> 00:18:46,709
Faster, faster!

351
00:18:53,674 --> 00:18:54,675
Get away, this is my tree!

352
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:55,718
What do you mean,
it's your tree?

353
00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:57,970
- Go on, go somewhere else! Go and find...
- Where? Huh?

354
00:18:59,722 --> 00:19:01,265
- Could we share it?
- Yeah, come on.

355
00:19:02,725 --> 00:19:04,185
Forward, chaps.

356
00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:11,233
Right, lads. Tally ho!

357
00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:14,362
There he goes.
Don't let him get away.

358
00:19:17,031 --> 00:19:19,492
Come on! After him!
There he is! Turn right!

359
00:19:20,534 --> 00:19:21,994
Jolly good chap!

360
00:19:25,081 --> 00:19:27,208
Right ahead, there he is.
After him, chaps.

361
00:19:49,271 --> 00:19:50,564
Faster!

362
00:20:05,329 --> 00:20:06,122
Oh!

363
00:20:15,172 --> 00:20:18,217
Get these dogs out of the way!
The American fellow's got away!

364
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,094
Get out of here, you chaps!
Get out!

365
00:20:20,386 --> 00:20:23,264
Look, can't you get out of the way?
You're spoiling our fun!

366
00:20:33,607 --> 00:20:34,775
You oaf!

367
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:36,277
What are you doing in there?

368
00:20:36,402 --> 00:20:38,571
What does it look like I'm doing?
I'm swimming.

369
00:20:42,450 --> 00:20:44,785
Swimming?
With all your clothes on?

370
00:20:45,619 --> 00:20:48,205
Well, it's very cold in there.

371
00:20:54,128 --> 00:20:56,589
They won't keep me in here.

372
00:20:56,714 --> 00:21:01,010
Arnold Clegg, world famous escapist.

373
00:21:02,303 --> 00:21:05,222
Human mole,
that's what I'm going to become.

374
00:21:05,347 --> 00:21:07,641
I'll show that Foskett.

375
00:21:25,951 --> 00:21:27,077
Ouch!

376
00:21:28,746 --> 00:21:30,414
Hey, now out that out.

377
00:21:30,748 --> 00:21:32,500
Ouch! Stop that! You little...

378
00:21:32,792 --> 00:21:33,959
Hey!

379
00:21:34,335 --> 00:21:35,169
Ow!

380
00:21:35,252 --> 00:21:38,172
Mum!
Some bloke's pinched Dad's trousers!

381
00:21:38,380 --> 00:21:41,383
Oh, Freddie,
you must stop telling stories.

382
00:21:45,054 --> 00:21:46,639
- Hello.
<i>- Annabelle?</i>

383
00:21:46,764 --> 00:21:49,683
<i>- It's me.</i>
- Timmy, what happened to you last night?

384
00:21:49,975 --> 00:21:51,727
<i>- Where were you?</i>
- Never mind that.

385
00:21:51,852 --> 00:21:54,688
This is serious.
The whole country's been devastated.

386
00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:56,774
Are you sure about that, darling?

387
00:21:57,149 --> 00:21:58,400
Seems all right here.

388
00:21:58,526 --> 00:22:01,570
We've still got the Hilton Hotel
and Buckingham Palace.

389
00:22:01,987 --> 00:22:03,072
Now, listen to me, honey.

390
00:22:03,197 --> 00:22:05,491
I've got to go out
and collect a few souvenirs

391
00:22:05,574 --> 00:22:06,617
so they can be buried

392
00:22:06,742 --> 00:22:09,203
<i>- for posterity.</i>
- You sound as though you need help.

393
00:22:09,411 --> 00:22:10,621
I need some clothes.

394
00:22:10,704 --> 00:22:13,165
Can you bring me that coat
I left at your place last weekend?

395
00:22:13,290 --> 00:22:14,792
<i>Yes. Anything else?</i>

396
00:22:14,917 --> 00:22:18,254
Annabelle, who the heck is
Lady Frances MacDonaugh?

397
00:22:18,379 --> 00:22:20,089
Lady Frances MacDonaugh?

398
00:22:20,214 --> 00:22:22,716
- Look, where are you now?
<i>- At the Red Lion Hotel.</i>

399
00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:24,927
Stay put, Timmy darling.
I'm coming round to get you.

400
00:22:29,431 --> 00:22:31,851
An initiative test?
How simply marvellous.

401
00:22:31,934 --> 00:22:34,103
It's terribly me.

402
00:22:34,228 --> 00:22:35,688
I'm not supposed to have
any help, you know.

403
00:22:35,813 --> 00:22:36,981
Oh, what fun!

404
00:22:37,106 --> 00:22:38,858
Besides, it means promotion.

405
00:22:38,983 --> 00:22:41,986
You're always saying how tough it is
on a lieutenant's pay.

406
00:22:42,111 --> 00:22:43,654
Annabelle.

407
00:22:43,779 --> 00:22:46,407
You go to all those debutante parties.

408
00:22:46,532 --> 00:22:48,576
Doesn't Lady Frances MacDonaugh
ring a bell?

409
00:22:48,701 --> 00:22:49,994
No.

410
00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:51,287
But here's a library.

411
00:22:51,453 --> 00:22:54,832
You can look it up in that book
that has all the lords and ladies in it.

412
00:22:58,919 --> 00:23:02,548
Terrible accident.
It's disgraceful. These young people.

413
00:23:40,628 --> 00:23:42,379
- Excuse me, er...
- Ssh!

414
00:23:42,504 --> 00:23:45,090
- Oh, I'm looking for...
- Ask him.

415
00:23:50,512 --> 00:23:52,348
Er, excuse me, er...

416
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:55,059
<i>Do you have a copy of
Debrett's Peerage?</i>

417
00:23:56,101 --> 00:23:59,104
Er... It's a book.
There's all the aristocracy there.

418
00:23:59,229 --> 00:24:00,356
Only the British.

419
00:24:00,689 --> 00:24:02,816
Americans have to import their own.

420
00:24:03,192 --> 00:24:06,111
Well, you see, I wanna look up
a Lady Frances MacDonaugh.

421
00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:08,989
- Rose...
- No, no, no. Frances MacDonaugh.

422
00:24:09,239 --> 00:24:10,741
I said it very loud and clear.

423
00:24:10,824 --> 00:24:13,285
There must be something
wrong with your hearing.

424
00:24:13,369 --> 00:24:15,829
- It's a rose.
- What's a rose?

425
00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:19,375
Lady Frances MacDonaugh.
Rather an unusual variety.

426
00:24:19,500 --> 00:24:20,459
You're kidding.

427
00:24:21,085 --> 00:24:25,589
Young man, it is our function here
to combat ignorance.

428
00:24:25,714 --> 00:24:29,510
Unhappily, there are occasions when
we seem unable to communicate.

429
00:24:30,094 --> 00:24:32,096
Shall I start all over again?

430
00:24:32,179 --> 00:24:34,640
No, no, that's fine.
It's a rose, huh?

431
00:24:35,474 --> 00:24:39,019
In that case, we may
consider this a minor victory.

432
00:24:39,144 --> 00:24:41,397
He stole my father's clothes!

433
00:24:41,522 --> 00:24:44,191
Hey, you!
You take those pants off.

434
00:24:44,274 --> 00:24:46,151
- Huh?
- Madam, you are not at home now.

435
00:24:46,235 --> 00:24:48,112
- I beg your pardon?
- You know what I mean.

436
00:24:48,195 --> 00:24:50,114
- Take those clothes off.
- I have that effect on 'em.

437
00:24:50,197 --> 00:24:52,116
- I don't know why.
- Stop. Take those clothes off.

438
00:24:52,199 --> 00:24:53,951
Madam, try to restrain yourself.

439
00:24:54,034 --> 00:24:55,536
This is a library,
not a public park.

440
00:24:55,661 --> 00:24:57,705
But you don't understand.
He's wearing my husband's clothes.

441
00:24:57,830 --> 00:25:00,124
- Madam, I'm not interested in the details.
- Oh, get out of the way!

442
00:25:04,712 --> 00:25:05,879
Oh, don't just stand there.

443
00:25:06,005 --> 00:25:07,589
Why don't you do something?
Why don't you run after him?

444
00:25:07,715 --> 00:25:10,467
- What's up with her?
- She wants my clothes.

445
00:25:10,551 --> 00:25:12,386
- Huh?
- They belong to her husband.

446
00:25:12,469 --> 00:25:15,305
- I told you, mine got wet.
- Oh, I'm sure.

447
00:25:15,389 --> 00:25:17,474
Did you get a chance to look up
the Lady MacDonaugh?

448
00:25:17,558 --> 00:25:20,436
- Yes. She's a rose.
- A what?

449
00:25:20,853 --> 00:25:23,355
It's the name of a rare rose.
It's a flower.

450
00:25:23,439 --> 00:25:25,065
Oh, of course!

451
00:25:25,149 --> 00:25:27,067
I know just where
you can find one.

452
00:25:27,151 --> 00:25:29,486
Hang on, darling.

453
00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:34,324
- Come back!
- Come back!

454
00:25:34,450 --> 00:25:36,035
Women drivers!

455
00:25:37,870 --> 00:25:40,414
Oh, Mr Clarke, sir, look.

456
00:25:41,415 --> 00:25:42,207
Morning.

457
00:25:42,332 --> 00:25:44,334
Ah!
Good day, sir.

458
00:25:44,460 --> 00:25:47,629
They're fine cars, these.
They deserve every attention.

459
00:25:48,047 --> 00:25:50,090
All those emblems
firmly fixed on, are they?

460
00:25:50,174 --> 00:25:50,966
Well, of course, sir.

461
00:25:51,050 --> 00:25:52,509
'Cause the one in my
governor's car fell off.

462
00:25:52,634 --> 00:25:55,220
Did you say your governor's name?

463
00:25:55,471 --> 00:25:58,182
Oh, yeah, General Lockwood.
You'll have heard of him.

464
00:25:58,348 --> 00:25:59,641
So what he said to me,
he said,

465
00:25:59,767 --> 00:26:01,101
"Nip down to the showrooms,
chop chop,

466
00:26:01,226 --> 00:26:03,353
"cop another one."
Those were his very words.

467
00:26:03,437 --> 00:26:05,189
"Nip down" and "cop"?

468
00:26:06,190 --> 00:26:07,983
A very distressing occurrence

469
00:26:08,067 --> 00:26:10,235
it must have been,
for the old gentleman.

470
00:26:10,694 --> 00:26:13,113
Would you come this way,
if you'll indulge me?

471
00:26:13,197 --> 00:26:14,281
Thank you.

472
00:26:15,074 --> 00:26:16,742
Mr Clarke, a word with you.

473
00:26:16,825 --> 00:26:21,038
This gentleman says
his Rolls emblem fell off,

474
00:26:21,121 --> 00:26:23,499
or possibly got knocked off.

475
00:26:23,582 --> 00:26:25,125
"Knocked off," sir?

476
00:26:25,209 --> 00:26:29,046
- Well, got any more going, then?
- Oh, yes, most certainly, sir.

477
00:26:29,254 --> 00:26:31,340
We... We always keep a stock.

478
00:26:32,174 --> 00:26:33,801
Ah, that's more like it.

479
00:26:33,926 --> 00:26:36,512
- Will that be cash or cheque, sir?
- Oh, better than cash.

480
00:26:36,637 --> 00:26:37,805
Army requisition.

481
00:26:37,971 --> 00:26:39,681
But that's not proper gelt.

482
00:26:39,765 --> 00:26:41,100
Here we are, then.

483
00:26:41,183 --> 00:26:44,269
Signed by me, countersigned
by General Lockwood himself.

484
00:26:44,394 --> 00:26:46,396
- Ah, yes, sir, but I'm not sure...
- You can understand how the general feels.

485
00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:48,065
- He'll appreciate this.
- Quite, quite.

486
00:26:48,190 --> 00:26:49,108
Cheers, then.

487
00:26:49,650 --> 00:26:51,235
Cheers, sir, cheers.

488
00:26:53,737 --> 00:26:55,322
Oh, what fun!

489
00:26:55,739 --> 00:26:58,117
I haven't been here
since I was taken by Nanny.

490
00:26:58,242 --> 00:27:00,327
I remember I bit
one of the keepers.

491
00:27:00,452 --> 00:27:02,663
You might have to do it again
if they give us any trouble.

492
00:27:02,788 --> 00:27:04,623
And how do you know
there's a rose in there?

493
00:27:04,706 --> 00:27:06,125
I just do.

494
00:27:09,837 --> 00:27:11,463
- I think you're right. Look.
- What?

495
00:27:11,547 --> 00:27:12,965
There. McGregor.

496
00:27:13,549 --> 00:27:15,509
- Come on.
- Who's McGregor?

497
00:27:15,634 --> 00:27:17,719
Well, he's a sergeant major.
He's on this test, too.

498
00:27:17,803 --> 00:27:19,054
He would get here first.

499
00:27:22,099 --> 00:27:26,895
And back here, of course,
we have the Giant South African Obelia.

500
00:27:27,020 --> 00:27:29,439
Had this little fellow here
a couple of years now.

501
00:27:29,523 --> 00:27:30,190
There he is.

502
00:27:30,274 --> 00:27:32,192
Coming along
very well indeed it is, too.

503
00:27:32,484 --> 00:27:34,778
Now it's, er...
Just... Just one moment, please.

504
00:27:34,862 --> 00:27:36,321
That way round.

505
00:27:36,864 --> 00:27:39,032
There are no trees here
over two years old.

506
00:27:39,116 --> 00:27:40,617
We take them out then.

507
00:27:40,701 --> 00:27:43,036
We simply have them
fruiting the once.

508
00:27:43,662 --> 00:27:46,832
Just once, eh?
I see, that's fascinating.

509
00:27:46,915 --> 00:27:49,126
Tell me, does that apply
to all the varieties,

510
00:27:49,209 --> 00:27:51,545
including that one?

511
00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:55,174
Oh, yes, sir, all the varieties.
We simply let them fruit the once.

512
00:27:55,257 --> 00:27:58,177
Oh, you've been most informative.
Thank you very much.

513
00:27:58,302 --> 00:27:59,595
Not at all, sir.

514
00:28:11,607 --> 00:28:13,317
Excuse me, madam.
Excuse me.

515
00:28:17,779 --> 00:28:19,156
It's gone, the fink!

516
00:28:19,615 --> 00:28:20,782
And it was the only one.

517
00:28:21,950 --> 00:28:23,827
Maybe there's another flower around
that looks like it.

518
00:28:23,952 --> 00:28:25,204
Ssh!

519
00:28:25,704 --> 00:28:26,747
Is anything wrong, sir?

520
00:28:26,872 --> 00:28:28,207
Oh, no, no, no.
Everything's just fine.

521
00:28:28,290 --> 00:28:29,583
- Is anything ami...
- Oh, super!

522
00:28:29,666 --> 00:28:31,585
Bananas growing up there!

523
00:28:31,668 --> 00:28:32,920
Who eats them?

524
00:28:33,003 --> 00:28:35,380
I mean, do any of you people
take them home?

525
00:28:35,464 --> 00:28:38,217
No, in certain cases
the restaurant might...

526
00:28:38,300 --> 00:28:39,885
Oh, darling, this heat, really.

527
00:28:40,010 --> 00:28:41,929
Another minute
and I'll simply have to rip off

528
00:28:42,012 --> 00:28:43,472
every single one of my clothes.

529
00:28:49,019 --> 00:28:50,812
Look, there he goes.

530
00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:53,523
I'll get it off of him by force
if I have to.

531
00:28:53,607 --> 00:28:56,985
Oh, rot! Didn't you see
his great, muscular legs?

532
00:28:57,069 --> 00:28:59,488
- You'd better leave this to me.
- What?

533
00:28:59,821 --> 00:29:02,366
I'll charm it out of his kilt
in no time.

534
00:29:02,449 --> 00:29:03,909
You get on with the next object.

535
00:29:04,034 --> 00:29:06,119
But you couldn't get his kilt off.

536
00:29:06,536 --> 00:29:07,829
Annabelle!

537
00:29:08,830 --> 00:29:10,332
Where could you take him?
I mean, er...

538
00:29:10,415 --> 00:29:11,875
you can't use your parents' place.

539
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:14,503
My uncle's got an apartment
and he's away.

540
00:29:15,254 --> 00:29:16,838
Okay, I'm gonna go
change my clothes first.

541
00:29:16,922 --> 00:29:18,382
- All right.
- Er...

542
00:29:18,548 --> 00:29:20,550
I'll meet you outside
the Hilton at three o'clock.

543
00:29:20,634 --> 00:29:22,094
And I'll bring the ducks.

544
00:29:23,136 --> 00:29:25,764
Rudolph! Rudolph!

545
00:29:27,808 --> 00:29:29,434
I say!
Steady on, madam!

546
00:29:29,559 --> 00:29:30,978
Rudolph, it's been years!

547
00:29:32,312 --> 00:29:34,523
Oh, my gosh, you're not.

548
00:29:35,065 --> 00:29:36,608
I'm terribly sorry.

549
00:29:36,692 --> 00:29:40,153
- You must think I'm absolutely loose.
- No, it's all right.

550
00:29:40,445 --> 00:29:42,447
I do these things all the time.

551
00:29:42,572 --> 00:29:44,324
It's my eyes, they're terrible.

552
00:29:44,449 --> 00:29:46,285
- I should wear my glasses.
- Oh, don't worry.

553
00:29:46,410 --> 00:29:48,829
It was, er, quite pleasant, actually.

554
00:29:48,996 --> 00:29:51,707
You must have been
petrified with embarrassment.

555
00:29:51,873 --> 00:29:54,084
Well, what can I do
to make it up for you?

556
00:29:54,209 --> 00:29:56,169
Um, could I give you a lift,
if you're just leaving?

557
00:29:56,253 --> 00:29:58,088
- Which way are you going?
- Well, I was going to London.

558
00:29:58,171 --> 00:30:00,132
Oh, well, then I must certainly
give you a lift.

559
00:30:00,299 --> 00:30:02,050
Now, the gate out is...

560
00:30:03,093 --> 00:30:04,219
Oh, it's straight ahead.

561
00:30:04,344 --> 00:30:06,430
And I had a little red car somewhere.

562
00:30:06,930 --> 00:30:08,849
- Oh, is this it?
- Oh, yes.

563
00:30:08,932 --> 00:30:11,143
Um... What about your glasses?

564
00:30:11,268 --> 00:30:13,395
Oh, I don't need them for driving.

565
00:30:29,703 --> 00:30:31,955
I must be miles
from the main gate now.

566
00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:34,166
I'll show 'em. I'll win it.

567
00:30:40,881 --> 00:30:42,215
Sergeant Foster!

568
00:30:44,259 --> 00:30:45,552
Hard luck, mate.

569
00:30:45,677 --> 00:30:48,347
- Come on, back to the maze.
- No!

570
00:30:54,019 --> 00:30:57,356
- Ah, Captain Tabasco, sir.
- Morning, Corporal.

571
00:30:58,065 --> 00:30:59,816
Pay this fellow, will you?
Then I, er...

572
00:30:59,900 --> 00:31:02,235
- I want to see you in my suite.
- Very good, sir.

573
00:31:03,362 --> 00:31:05,822
I trust everything is
to your satisfaction, Captain?

574
00:31:05,906 --> 00:31:08,367
We sent for your clothes as you asked.
They're in the dressing room.

575
00:31:08,450 --> 00:31:09,534
Excellent.

576
00:31:09,659 --> 00:31:12,162
Oh, by the way,
has Miss Pennington arrived yet?

577
00:31:12,287 --> 00:31:14,164
Not Miss Poppy Pennington?

578
00:31:14,247 --> 00:31:17,250
Oh, I do hope she doesn't dance
in our ornamental fish pool again.

579
00:31:17,334 --> 00:31:21,338
- The fish are quite nervous ever since.
- Fitzy, darling, how lovely!

580
00:31:21,671 --> 00:31:23,423
About time
they let you out again.

581
00:31:24,424 --> 00:31:25,801
Well, if that's all, sir.

582
00:31:26,218 --> 00:31:27,469
- Oh, yes, waiter.
- Sir?

583
00:31:27,552 --> 00:31:29,513
I'd like to see the menu, please.

584
00:31:30,514 --> 00:31:33,642
I think some mussels
and mustard soup to start with.

585
00:31:34,142 --> 00:31:36,269
- Unless you prefer caviar?
- Oh, yes, perfect.

586
00:31:36,395 --> 00:31:38,897
Iranian caviar it is, with blinis.

587
00:31:39,272 --> 00:31:41,691
And, after that, I fancy something
really rather simple.

588
00:31:41,817 --> 00:31:45,487
Breast of wild duck, perhaps,
with chestnuts in port wine.

589
00:31:45,570 --> 00:31:46,238
Mmm, divine.

590
00:31:46,363 --> 00:31:48,198
Topped off with
a fresh tangerine souffle.

591
00:31:48,281 --> 00:31:50,700
- Sir.
- And a T-bone for my friend.

592
00:31:50,784 --> 00:31:52,327
And give us half an hour,
would you, waiter?

593
00:31:52,411 --> 00:31:53,537
Certainly, sir.

594
00:31:54,204 --> 00:31:56,164
Poppy, darling,
you look wonderful.

595
00:31:57,290 --> 00:31:59,251
And now I've got a little job
I want you to do.

596
00:31:59,376 --> 00:32:00,752
A job? Now?

597
00:32:00,836 --> 00:32:02,045
It won't take a moment.

598
00:32:02,129 --> 00:32:03,630
I want you to pop over
to your father's office

599
00:32:03,713 --> 00:32:06,425
and bring me the Silver Lady emblem
from his Rolls-Royce.

600
00:32:06,550 --> 00:32:08,927
- But, darling, why?
- Off you go.

601
00:32:09,594 --> 00:32:12,681
And remember, ask no questions
and you'll hear no lies.

602
00:32:12,848 --> 00:32:14,307
Lunch will be ready
when you come back.

603
00:32:14,433 --> 00:32:16,601
Oh, Fitzy, darling, you are the end.

604
00:32:18,979 --> 00:32:21,106
<i>- Good morning, Miss Pennington.</i>
- Good morning, Robert.

605
00:32:21,606 --> 00:32:23,400
Ah, Corporal, there you are.

606
00:32:24,067 --> 00:32:26,862
Now, there are one or two things
I want you to organise.

607
00:32:27,028 --> 00:32:28,655
Ah, you can rely on me, sir.

608
00:32:29,739 --> 00:32:32,325
The Army's up to its old tricks again.

609
00:32:32,451 --> 00:32:35,370
Still, it's better than that campaign
in the Western Desert.

610
00:32:35,745 --> 00:32:37,706
Yes.

611
00:32:43,670 --> 00:32:45,755
Now, you <i>must</i> come up
and have a drink.

612
00:32:45,839 --> 00:32:48,467
Well, I really have got
an awful lot to do, you know.

613
00:32:48,592 --> 00:32:50,302
Oh, but I need you to
help me carry something.

614
00:32:50,385 --> 00:32:52,596
Well, I'll give you a hand,
of course.

615
00:32:53,597 --> 00:32:54,598
- This it?
- Yes.

616
00:32:54,723 --> 00:32:57,350
Oh. Listen, you're not gonna
leave the car like that, are you?

617
00:32:57,434 --> 00:32:58,852
Oh, it doesn't mind.

618
00:32:59,895 --> 00:33:01,480
"It doesn't mind."

619
00:33:03,315 --> 00:33:04,733
Here we are.

620
00:33:04,816 --> 00:33:07,194
Oh, I say. Highly tasteful.

621
00:33:07,277 --> 00:33:08,737
Mmm.

622
00:33:08,820 --> 00:33:09,696
We'll, er...

623
00:33:09,779 --> 00:33:11,781
- put that in the kitchen, shall we?
- Oh, right.

624
00:33:14,159 --> 00:33:15,744
I insist that you let me
give you a drink.

625
00:33:15,827 --> 00:33:18,288
Well, I... I don't really think
I've got enough time as it...

626
00:33:19,206 --> 00:33:20,957
Well, perhaps just a quick one.

627
00:33:21,666 --> 00:33:23,585
- Follow me.
- Right.

628
00:33:25,086 --> 00:33:27,964
You <i>must</i> tell me all about
the initiative test.

629
00:33:28,048 --> 00:33:31,134
Sit down, put your feet up,
you've a long way to go.

630
00:33:31,259 --> 00:33:32,385
Now, what'll it be?

631
00:33:32,969 --> 00:33:34,804
Scotch for you, of course.

632
00:33:34,971 --> 00:33:36,932
Oh, well, er...
Yeah, perhaps just a wee one.

633
00:33:37,807 --> 00:33:39,601
Here's to both of us, Sydney.

634
00:33:40,101 --> 00:33:42,812
Must say it's a very nice place
you've got here, Hilda.

635
00:33:43,104 --> 00:33:45,607
- Would you like to look around?
- Oh! That'll be nice, yes.

636
00:33:45,690 --> 00:33:47,567
- It's heavenly when you get used to it.
- Right.

637
00:33:49,694 --> 00:33:52,197
- Well, this is the hall.
- Oh, yes.

638
00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:54,574
And, er, this is a bedroom.

639
00:33:56,701 --> 00:33:59,788
- Oh! And this is, er, another bedroom.
- Oh!

640
00:34:01,540 --> 00:34:02,916
I know.
Why don't I cook you something?

641
00:34:02,999 --> 00:34:04,709
Well, I'm not really very hungry.

642
00:34:05,210 --> 00:34:07,337
Wait till you see.
You don't know my cooking.

643
00:34:07,671 --> 00:34:10,924
I tell you what,
I'm somewhat messy.

644
00:34:11,007 --> 00:34:13,218
I wonder if I could have a wee rinse?

645
00:34:13,426 --> 00:34:14,803
Why don't you have a shower?

646
00:34:15,720 --> 00:34:17,889
That would be very nice.
Yes, thank you.

647
00:34:17,973 --> 00:34:20,934
Don't take too long.
You'll find everything you want in there.

648
00:34:22,477 --> 00:34:24,563
I'll see you very soon.

649
00:34:24,688 --> 00:34:26,690
Oh, right!

650
00:34:29,568 --> 00:34:31,027
<i>♪ By yon bonnie banks</i>

651
00:34:31,111 --> 00:34:32,904
<i>♪ And by yon bonnie braes</i>

652
00:34:33,238 --> 00:34:36,199
♪ When the sun shines bright
on Loch Lomond

653
00:34:36,575 --> 00:34:38,285
<i>♪ Oh, me and... ♪</i>

654
00:34:38,368 --> 00:34:39,744
<i>There's soap in my eyes.</i>

655
00:34:40,245 --> 00:34:42,455
<i>Oh, that smarts.
Oh, that smarts.</i>

656
00:34:42,581 --> 00:34:45,792
<i>Towel. Where's the towel?
Ooh, that's better.</i>

657
00:34:48,712 --> 00:34:50,422
Thanks for carrying mine!

658
00:34:51,131 --> 00:34:52,716
I can't do everything at once.

659
00:34:53,466 --> 00:34:55,135
Bring what you can.
I'll come back for the rest.

660
00:34:55,260 --> 00:34:56,094
No consideration.

661
00:34:56,177 --> 00:34:57,887
You smoke and swear
the whole way home.

662
00:34:57,971 --> 00:34:59,639
Is it my fault
it rained all the time?

663
00:34:59,723 --> 00:35:01,975
You wouldn't wait till next week,
would you?

664
00:35:07,939 --> 00:35:08,982
Oh!

665
00:35:11,067 --> 00:35:12,902
Oh!
- Ssh!

666
00:35:13,028 --> 00:35:15,780
- Listen. There's somebody here.
- Oh, nonsense, m'dear.

667
00:35:15,864 --> 00:35:17,616
I told you not to leave
the key under the mat.

668
00:35:17,699 --> 00:35:19,534
Er, Hilda, have you got a chisel?

669
00:35:21,786 --> 00:35:23,204
What is all this?

670
00:35:23,330 --> 00:35:25,206
Well, don't just stand there.
Hit him!

671
00:35:25,332 --> 00:35:26,541
I'll phone the police.

672
00:35:26,791 --> 00:35:28,627
Well, who are you?
I mean, this is Hilda's flat.

673
00:35:29,085 --> 00:35:30,587
Hilda? Who's Hilda?

674
00:35:31,129 --> 00:35:32,213
Just a minute.

675
00:35:32,631 --> 00:35:34,716
I think I can explain.
Just a moment.

676
00:35:40,096 --> 00:35:41,389
It's gone.

677
00:35:42,265 --> 00:35:44,684
It's that girl. Hilda! Ha!

678
00:35:44,768 --> 00:35:46,019
"I'll cook you something."

679
00:35:46,102 --> 00:35:48,313
"That's one bedroom,
and that's another bedroom."

680
00:35:48,521 --> 00:35:49,272
Is that the police?

681
00:35:49,397 --> 00:35:51,149
I've got a mad Scotsman in my flat.

682
00:35:51,274 --> 00:35:52,609
Ah! You stay away from me.

683
00:35:52,692 --> 00:35:54,944
Madam, there has been
the most terrible mistake.

684
00:35:55,028 --> 00:35:56,821
- I've been robbed!
- What?

685
00:35:57,614 --> 00:35:59,699
He's wearing a moustache
and a blue towel.

686
00:36:07,415 --> 00:36:09,292
Poor man.

687
00:36:09,376 --> 00:36:11,169
Don't take any notice, children.

688
00:36:30,855 --> 00:36:32,941
You after money, boy?

689
00:36:33,066 --> 00:36:35,151
I say, you knocking there for money?

690
00:36:35,276 --> 00:36:37,237
- No.
- 'Cause you won't get any.

691
00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:39,239
She don't pay anyone, she don't.

692
00:36:39,364 --> 00:36:40,657
I don't want money.

693
00:36:40,782 --> 00:36:42,534
Oh, well, then,
you're lucky, then,

694
00:36:42,617 --> 00:36:44,202
'cause you wouldn't get any.

695
00:36:44,953 --> 00:36:47,288
You can ask old nosy over there.

696
00:36:48,289 --> 00:36:49,666
She'll tell ya.

697
00:36:49,749 --> 00:36:52,836
Well, if you're not after money,
what are you after?

698
00:36:53,044 --> 00:36:54,629
Well, I'm from
the Peace Corps, ma'am.

699
00:36:55,004 --> 00:36:56,756
I collect things for
underdeveloped countries,

700
00:36:56,881 --> 00:36:58,717
for the starving peoples of the world.

701
00:36:58,842 --> 00:37:00,760
Oh! Starvation, eh?

702
00:37:00,885 --> 00:37:02,721
Is that a good cause, then?

703
00:37:02,846 --> 00:37:05,181
- Is it?
- Er, yes.

704
00:37:05,974 --> 00:37:08,309
What kind of things
are you collecting, then?

705
00:37:08,393 --> 00:37:11,187
Oh, anything, everything.
Household goods, old clothes,

706
00:37:11,312 --> 00:37:12,313
flights of plaster ducks...

707
00:37:12,439 --> 00:37:16,526
Oh, what would a man want
with a flight of plaster ducks?

708
00:37:16,609 --> 00:37:19,070
You are a scream.

709
00:37:19,195 --> 00:37:20,280
Er, we sell them.

710
00:37:20,405 --> 00:37:23,032
Oh, well, we haven't
got any ducks, duck.

711
00:37:23,116 --> 00:37:25,785
We got a rabbit.
My hubby got that.

712
00:37:26,035 --> 00:37:28,621
Very economical to keep,
rabbits are.

713
00:37:29,748 --> 00:37:31,750
Oh... Bye-bye.

714
00:37:43,845 --> 00:37:46,055
Yes? What is it?

715
00:37:48,224 --> 00:37:51,352
You see, I'm from the Peace Corps, ma'am,
and actually what I came for...

716
00:37:51,436 --> 00:37:53,480
Would you like to
come inside for a moment?

717
00:37:54,773 --> 00:37:55,857
Yes, thanks.

718
00:37:55,982 --> 00:37:58,234
Save you standing out there
all the time.

719
00:37:58,777 --> 00:38:00,487
Like to bring your sack in?

720
00:38:01,780 --> 00:38:03,114
Be better.

721
00:38:11,372 --> 00:38:14,042
Now, can I get you something?

722
00:38:14,793 --> 00:38:15,835
Cup of tea?

723
00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:18,254
Well, thank you.
That's very kind of you.

724
00:38:19,589 --> 00:38:20,507
Won't be a minute.

725
00:38:20,632 --> 00:38:23,092
The kettle's on the boil.

726
00:38:24,302 --> 00:38:27,055
<i>It's nice meeting new people, isn't it?</i>

727
00:38:29,140 --> 00:38:30,850
Nice view you have here.

728
00:38:31,017 --> 00:38:34,187
<i>Yes, it is nice. It's cosy, too.</i>

729
00:38:38,525 --> 00:38:39,359
Two lumps?

730
00:38:39,984 --> 00:38:41,820
Um, er...

731
00:38:42,237 --> 00:38:43,238
Please.

732
00:38:44,447 --> 00:38:46,074
I love your decorations.

733
00:38:47,450 --> 00:38:49,661
- Beautiful ducks.
- They were a present.

734
00:38:50,119 --> 00:38:51,830
Not that they were wanted.

735
00:38:52,789 --> 00:38:56,751
Why don't you sit down for a minute?
Go on. Relax.

736
00:38:56,835 --> 00:38:58,711
I can take 'em off your hands for you.

737
00:38:58,837 --> 00:39:01,673
Spoon. Mind sharing?

738
00:39:02,465 --> 00:39:03,925
Make you a good offer.

739
00:39:07,095 --> 00:39:08,388
Try me.

740
00:39:10,014 --> 00:39:10,890
Hello, ducks.

741
00:39:11,850 --> 00:39:13,309
It's me, love, Teddy.

742
00:39:13,434 --> 00:39:15,395
I've come back
to take you out to lunch.

743
00:39:16,354 --> 00:39:17,564
You been at it again?

744
00:39:17,772 --> 00:39:19,774
No! I've not.

745
00:39:20,441 --> 00:39:22,694
Just having a nice cup of tea, eh?

746
00:39:23,695 --> 00:39:25,488
- Who's this, then?
- Who?

747
00:39:25,572 --> 00:39:28,241
- I'm from the Peace Corps.
- Shut your mouth.

748
00:39:28,700 --> 00:39:31,536
- Who's your friend?
- Oh, why don't you ask him?

749
00:39:31,619 --> 00:39:32,912
Because I'm asking you.

750
00:39:33,037 --> 00:39:34,581
Hey, it was only
your ducks I wanted.

751
00:39:34,664 --> 00:39:35,999
My what?!

752
00:39:36,624 --> 00:39:38,459
You <i>have</i> been at it again!

753
00:39:38,751 --> 00:39:40,336
Oh, drop dead.

754
00:39:40,920 --> 00:39:41,921
Right!

755
00:39:42,505 --> 00:39:45,592
Right, I'll show you
just how much I care.

756
00:39:47,260 --> 00:39:51,472
Oh! That was a present from my mum,
Ted Walters, and you know it.

757
00:39:53,850 --> 00:39:56,227
I bought that, you rotten little...

758
00:39:56,311 --> 00:40:01,524
Yeah? And you bought
this and all, didn't you?

759
00:40:03,902 --> 00:40:06,070
- Right!
- Oh!

760
00:40:07,447 --> 00:40:08,573
Here. Here.

761
00:40:10,617 --> 00:40:11,784
Here! Here!

762
00:40:11,868 --> 00:40:14,370
Oh! You no-good little...

763
00:40:16,456 --> 00:40:17,874
<i>Now you can say goodbye to</i>

764
00:40:17,957 --> 00:40:19,626
another of your mother's
rotten presents!

765
00:40:26,090 --> 00:40:28,384
- No, no, no! Stop it, please!
- You keep out of it.

766
00:40:28,468 --> 00:40:33,014
It's got nothing to do with you.

767
00:40:34,766 --> 00:40:36,559
Here come the rest of them!

768
00:40:37,226 --> 00:40:38,353
Oh!

769
00:40:40,063 --> 00:40:40,939
Ha!

770
00:40:41,272 --> 00:40:43,358
You'll get your ducks now, boy!

771
00:40:43,733 --> 00:40:47,153
Oh, you got ducks with everything.
What did I tell ya?

772
00:40:47,236 --> 00:40:51,032
Only got to have a bit of hot weather,
then the whole thing starts up again.

773
00:40:53,076 --> 00:40:54,994
I'll give you something to scream about.

774
00:40:55,244 --> 00:40:56,454
Right!

775
00:41:00,333 --> 00:41:02,585
Come on now.
Now, where's your mother?

776
00:41:02,961 --> 00:41:06,089
She can go and get it.
Come on, where is she?

777
00:41:06,464 --> 00:41:09,884
<i>"Memoirs of a Man of Action,</i>
chapter five."

778
00:41:10,093 --> 00:41:11,928
Oh! Oh!
Oh, my goodness!

779
00:41:12,011 --> 00:41:13,805
Am I sitting on a wasps' nest?

780
00:41:16,140 --> 00:41:18,184
Are you doing
the drains down there?

781
00:41:18,393 --> 00:41:20,228
Sir, I didn't mean to disturb you, sir.

782
00:41:20,353 --> 00:41:21,771
- Have you lost your way?
- Don't...

783
00:41:21,854 --> 00:41:23,231
- Who are you?
- Don't send me back down there, sir.

784
00:41:23,314 --> 00:41:25,566
- Please don't.
- Why not? Who's down there?

785
00:41:25,692 --> 00:41:27,527
- What's your name?
- Um, Sergeant Clegg, sir.

786
00:41:27,610 --> 00:41:29,779
- Royal Engineers.
- Oh, Clegg! Royal Engineers!

787
00:41:29,862 --> 00:41:32,407
Nice to meet you.
Let me give you a little drink.

788
00:41:32,532 --> 00:41:33,616
Sit yourself down.

789
00:41:33,700 --> 00:41:37,286
It isn't often I get a chance
to discuss matters with the ranks,

790
00:41:37,370 --> 00:41:39,747
if you forgive the expression.
Sit down, make yourself at home.

791
00:41:39,872 --> 00:41:44,252
Tell me, do you think the Army of today
is all we claim in the advertisements?

792
00:41:44,377 --> 00:41:45,670
Oh, definitely.

793
00:41:45,962 --> 00:41:48,715
Yeah, well, I... I mean,
it gives you fine opportunities, sir.

794
00:41:49,090 --> 00:41:51,259
Well, for...
for things like this, sir.

795
00:41:51,551 --> 00:41:53,594
Think that fellow Foskett's
on the right line?

796
00:41:54,012 --> 00:41:55,013
Oh, yeah.

797
00:41:55,471 --> 00:41:56,973
Ha! There he is!

798
00:41:57,932 --> 00:41:59,142
Come on, chaps!

799
00:42:00,143 --> 00:42:02,478
Ah!
I thought you got away, Clegg.

800
00:42:02,603 --> 00:42:04,522
- Jolly bad luck.
- Yes, I'm coming, sir.

801
00:42:04,605 --> 00:42:07,817
- Goodbye, Greg. Enjoyed our little chat.
- Thank you. Thank you for everything, sir.

802
00:42:08,818 --> 00:42:12,071
It's great, isn't it?
Very good. Most imaginatively made.

803
00:42:12,196 --> 00:42:15,199
- Yes, I'll take it.
- What's your account number, then?

804
00:42:15,324 --> 00:42:16,409
What firm are you from?

805
00:42:16,743 --> 00:42:18,494
Oh, the Army will see
you're paid promptly.

806
00:42:18,703 --> 00:42:19,912
You want one for the Army?

807
00:42:20,747 --> 00:42:23,624
Satisfied? Genuine Army requisition form.
Watermark and all.

808
00:42:24,834 --> 00:42:26,711
What's the Army want
an electric hare for, then?

809
00:42:26,794 --> 00:42:28,004
Target practice?

810
00:42:28,296 --> 00:42:29,589
Ah, that's not for me to say.

811
00:42:29,714 --> 00:42:31,799
There's lots of things
go on in the Army.

812
00:42:31,883 --> 00:42:33,551
Anyway, that's
General Lockwood's signature.

813
00:42:33,634 --> 00:42:35,219
Yeah, well, you hang on there a minute.

814
00:42:35,344 --> 00:42:36,387
'Ere, Jim.

815
00:42:43,019 --> 00:42:44,187
What's all this, then?

816
00:42:44,270 --> 00:42:47,023
Well, it's a suitcase.
You've seen a suitcase before.

817
00:42:47,190 --> 00:42:49,317
What, with a Rolls mascot
and a flight of ducks?

818
00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:51,527
- And now you want an electric hare.
- Yeah, that's right.

819
00:42:51,611 --> 00:42:53,654
Well, it's unusual. Very unusual.

820
00:42:53,946 --> 00:42:55,156
You wait here.

821
00:42:59,452 --> 00:43:01,120
I'm sorry, sir,
but I must ask you to...

822
00:43:01,204 --> 00:43:01,996
Blimey, he's gone!

823
00:43:02,080 --> 00:43:03,414
Yeah, and he's taken
the electric hare!

824
00:43:03,539 --> 00:43:05,249
- I'm gonna call the law.
- Right.

825
00:43:06,125 --> 00:43:07,835
- Hello, hello!
- Hello, hello...

826
00:43:17,929 --> 00:43:20,014
I thought it was loose.

827
00:43:20,139 --> 00:43:22,266
A new Rolls-Royce?
No, couldn't be.

828
00:43:22,391 --> 00:43:24,435
Fixed 'em nowadays
you can't budge 'em.

829
00:43:24,560 --> 00:43:27,230
So many used to be nicked.

830
00:43:29,107 --> 00:43:31,192
Timmy! Look what I've got.

831
00:43:31,275 --> 00:43:33,569
- Good. I got the ducks.
- You have?

832
00:43:33,694 --> 00:43:35,947
Then we'll go and get
the Rolls Silver Lady.

833
00:43:36,030 --> 00:43:37,073
Well, it's not that simple.

834
00:43:37,156 --> 00:43:39,117
They're screwed on
very tight nowadays.

835
00:43:39,200 --> 00:43:41,410
- There has to be an old model.
- We'll find one.

836
00:43:59,804 --> 00:44:01,139
There's one!

837
00:44:09,730 --> 00:44:11,732
Here, that bird's pinchin' our mascot!

838
00:44:19,282 --> 00:44:20,825
Come on, let's go!

839
00:44:23,828 --> 00:44:24,912
Hey!

840
00:44:25,121 --> 00:44:27,039
- Hey, no way!
- We'll get you!

841
00:44:27,290 --> 00:44:30,334
Get off! Yeah, come on!

842
00:44:33,087 --> 00:44:33,880
Hey!

843
00:45:03,034 --> 00:45:04,577
Super, they've had it.

844
00:45:04,660 --> 00:45:05,661
Serves them right.

845
00:45:17,215 --> 00:45:18,424
What should we get next, Tim?

846
00:45:18,549 --> 00:45:19,842
Somethin' to eat. I'm starvin'.

847
00:45:19,926 --> 00:45:22,511
Oh, gosh! I couldn't eat.
I'm too excited.

848
00:45:22,678 --> 00:45:24,347
"And the next object is...

849
00:45:24,472 --> 00:45:26,057
"an electric hare."

850
00:45:26,641 --> 00:45:28,392
Let's go to a greyhound track.

851
00:45:44,659 --> 00:45:46,327
What we need is a plan of action.

852
00:45:48,287 --> 00:45:50,539
There are the greyhounds!
Let's see what happens.

853
00:46:00,007 --> 00:46:01,300
Psst-psst!

854
00:46:02,093 --> 00:46:03,844
Be a good fellow and take over
for a moment, would you?

855
00:46:03,970 --> 00:46:05,137
I'm somewhat...

856
00:46:05,263 --> 00:46:06,013
overcome.

857
00:46:06,138 --> 00:46:07,848
Thank you.

858
00:46:09,725 --> 00:46:11,936
Let's go down to the track,
and see what they do with the hare.

859
00:46:12,019 --> 00:46:13,854
Well, how can I steal a hare
with all these people around?

860
00:46:13,938 --> 00:46:15,439
Oh, come on, we can manage.

861
00:46:30,246 --> 00:46:31,330
I guess that's the hare, huh?

862
00:46:31,414 --> 00:46:33,499
There's a man there,
mending it or something.

863
00:46:36,210 --> 00:46:37,962
It's that mad Scotsman.

864
00:46:38,045 --> 00:46:39,297
Not again!

865
00:46:45,261 --> 00:46:46,679
- Who's that down by the hare?
- I don't know.

866
00:46:46,762 --> 00:46:48,889
Perhaps there's something wrong.
Come on, let's see.

867
00:46:53,019 --> 00:46:55,021
He's knocked off the hare!
I don't believe it.

868
00:46:55,104 --> 00:46:56,981
- Hey, you! Come back here!
- Don't worry about that.

869
00:46:57,064 --> 00:46:59,692
Let's get another one, quick.
The race mustn't be delayed.

870
00:47:01,444 --> 00:47:03,487
Did you hear that?
Now's our chance.

871
00:47:03,612 --> 00:47:05,906
Follow them, Tim,
and see where the hares are.

872
00:47:14,623 --> 00:47:17,209
<i>What sort of a person
would take an electric hare?</i>

873
00:47:17,335 --> 00:47:19,420
<i>I don't know. Some lunatic.</i>

874
00:47:21,505 --> 00:47:22,923
<i>Come on.</i>

875
00:47:26,635 --> 00:47:27,762
Hey, the door won't shut!

876
00:47:27,887 --> 00:47:29,805
Well, leave it, Ted.
Let's get the hare back on the track.

877
00:47:29,889 --> 00:47:31,015
All right.

878
00:47:41,567 --> 00:47:42,777
What are you doing in here?

879
00:47:42,943 --> 00:47:44,320
Well, ah, sir...

880
00:47:45,112 --> 00:47:46,697
This is quite incredible.
You'll never believe this.

881
00:47:46,822 --> 00:47:50,159
Someone has just stolen the hare.

882
00:47:50,409 --> 00:47:53,162
- Stolen the hare? Are you sure?
- I'm absolutely certain about it, sir.

883
00:47:53,245 --> 00:47:55,122
Don't worry about it.
I mean, it won't, er...

884
00:47:55,206 --> 00:47:56,707
delay the race or anything.

885
00:47:56,832 --> 00:47:58,584
Well, if that door stays open,
they'll take something else.

886
00:47:58,667 --> 00:48:00,336
Ah, yes, sir.
You're absolutely right.

887
00:48:00,419 --> 00:48:02,129
As a matter of fact,
I was about to close it.

888
00:48:02,213 --> 00:48:03,255
Um...

889
00:48:12,098 --> 00:48:14,809
So you can't be too careful. If someone'll
take a hare, they'll take anything.

890
00:48:14,975 --> 00:48:16,185
Oh!

891
00:48:16,268 --> 00:48:17,770
Sir, you're right.
You're absolutely right.

892
00:48:17,853 --> 00:48:19,939
You can never be too careful.

893
00:48:21,732 --> 00:48:24,860
You know, it's always wise
to be on the quivvy-vivvy.

894
00:48:25,361 --> 00:48:27,363
- "Quivvy-vivvy"?
<i>- The quivvy-vivvy.</i>

895
00:48:28,364 --> 00:48:29,615
Good night!

896
00:48:35,871 --> 00:48:38,207
- Fancy anything at all?
- Only the dogs.

897
00:48:38,290 --> 00:48:39,708
Only the do...

898
00:48:40,042 --> 00:48:40,835
Oh!

899
00:48:48,467 --> 00:48:51,387
Corporal, this is splendid.
I do congratulate you.

900
00:48:52,596 --> 00:48:54,432
How about the plaster ducks?

901
00:48:54,557 --> 00:48:57,101
Now that's the problem, sir.
The ducks are unobtainable.

902
00:48:57,184 --> 00:48:59,228
They are no longer manufactured.

903
00:48:59,311 --> 00:49:00,813
Oh, nonsense!

904
00:49:01,689 --> 00:49:04,733
Nothing, Corporal,
absolutely nothing is unobtainable.

905
00:49:05,151 --> 00:49:07,319
-Even
-As you say, sir.

906
00:49:07,570 --> 00:49:09,697
- Would you like to order dinner now, sir?
- Later.

907
00:49:10,156 --> 00:49:11,449
Ducks!

908
00:49:15,619 --> 00:49:17,913
Hello, I want to speak
to Miss Samantha Powell at the, er...

909
00:49:18,038 --> 00:49:19,790
at the Chelsea Pottery.

910
00:49:20,291 --> 00:49:22,460
- That's right, Pottery.
- Good luck, sir.

911
00:49:24,003 --> 00:49:26,714
Hello, Samantha, darling.
This is Fitzroy.

912
00:49:27,423 --> 00:49:29,341
Darling, I want you to do me a favour.

913
00:49:29,425 --> 00:49:33,429
Yes, will you come to the Mayfair Hotel
and bring some clay with you?

914
00:49:33,804 --> 00:49:35,890
Yeah, that's right.
You know what clay is.

915
00:49:36,265 --> 00:49:37,850
Quick as you can, Sammy.

916
00:49:40,436 --> 00:49:42,938
Poppy, what a beautiful dress.

917
00:49:43,397 --> 00:49:45,024
Oh, Fitzy, darling,
you are doing well.

918
00:49:45,149 --> 00:49:46,108
Oh, we try, we try.

919
00:49:46,192 --> 00:49:47,359
- Would you?
- Mmm.

920
00:49:47,485 --> 00:49:49,695
What a darling bunny!

921
00:49:49,778 --> 00:49:52,156
- Yes, it won the second race at Wembley.
- Did it?

922
00:49:52,239 --> 00:49:55,493
Well, what do we have tonight, waiter?
Beans on toast, is it?

923
00:49:55,659 --> 00:49:58,496
Avocado pears to start, sir.
Stuffed with fresh prawns.

924
00:49:58,621 --> 00:50:00,247
- Sole Véronique to follow.
- Lovely.

925
00:50:00,372 --> 00:50:02,583
Then we'll have some of your
Suprême de Grouse à la crème

926
00:50:02,666 --> 00:50:04,960
and a bottle of
Château Mouton Rothschild 1929.

927
00:50:05,085 --> 00:50:07,338
- Very good, sir.
- Do hurry up, I'm starving.

928
00:50:07,463 --> 00:50:10,174
Yeah, well, I have one small chore
for you before we dine.

929
00:50:10,257 --> 00:50:13,761
- It won't take you more than half an hour.
- Oh, but I'm so hungry, Fitzy.

930
00:50:13,844 --> 00:50:15,012
I missed lunch altogether,

931
00:50:15,137 --> 00:50:17,806
and I had to slip Dawson the Earth
to get him to hack that Silver Lady

932
00:50:17,932 --> 00:50:20,017
- off the motor car.
- This is elementary, my dear Poppy.

933
00:50:20,100 --> 00:50:23,729
Now, you know that mad aunt of yours,
Lady Clotilda... whatever?

934
00:50:23,854 --> 00:50:26,982
The one with green fingers.
Well, she's got a flower that I want.

935
00:50:27,107 --> 00:50:28,150
- Flowers?
- Yes.

936
00:50:28,234 --> 00:50:31,111
Are-Aren't you meant to send me flowers?

937
00:50:31,195 --> 00:50:33,864
Ah, no, no.
This is a rather special kind of rose.

938
00:50:33,989 --> 00:50:36,367
It's called the Lady Frances MacDonaugh.

939
00:50:40,454 --> 00:50:43,123
Come in.

940
00:50:58,222 --> 00:50:59,932
Oh, it's <i>you,</i> Clegg!

941
00:51:00,057 --> 00:51:02,560
Oh, wonderful,
how you do stick at it!

942
00:51:02,685 --> 00:51:04,937
Stay where you are, Clegg.
and I'll go and get some chaps

943
00:51:05,020 --> 00:51:06,897
to help you back
to the centre of the maze.

944
00:51:06,981 --> 00:51:09,858
Oh, er, Chief of Staff?
Come here a second, will you?

945
00:51:11,443 --> 00:51:13,279
No!
Don't, sir, please!

946
00:51:13,862 --> 00:51:16,031
- Right. Come on.
- Don't take me back, sir, please!

947
00:51:16,156 --> 00:51:17,575
Up you get.

948
00:51:17,700 --> 00:51:20,160
See he gets safely back
to the centre of the maze.

949
00:51:20,286 --> 00:51:22,496
No, not the centre!
Let me start down the road, sir.

950
00:51:22,580 --> 00:51:25,040
Go on, give me a chance!
Give me a chance!

951
00:51:25,874 --> 00:51:27,876
- Give me a chance.
- We're just playing, of course.

952
00:51:28,002 --> 00:51:30,754
Keep it up, Clegg.

953
00:51:45,102 --> 00:51:46,895
<i>A good morning now to Mrs Gilbert</i>

954
00:51:47,021 --> 00:51:49,106
<i>of Sheldrake Place, London W8.</i>

955
00:51:49,189 --> 00:51:51,442
<i>And you've asked for "Going Steady",</i>

956
00:51:51,567 --> 00:51:54,278
<i>and here it is, played by
the Stan Reynolds Orchestra.</i>

957
00:51:57,114 --> 00:51:59,283
Morning, Samantha.
How's it coming?

958
00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:01,452
It's all mood.

959
00:52:01,577 --> 00:52:05,414
I must feel how a duck must feel
if it's made of clay instead of feathers.

960
00:52:05,539 --> 00:52:06,498
Well, only good luck to you.

961
00:52:06,582 --> 00:52:08,167
Oh, when it all happens,
they'll need baking.

962
00:52:08,292 --> 00:52:09,460
The chef's standing by.

963
00:52:10,127 --> 00:52:11,670
It's only the first approach.

964
00:52:12,755 --> 00:52:15,007
Must have been the claret.

965
00:52:16,550 --> 00:52:19,303
- Ah! Brekkers!
- Good morning, Captain.

966
00:52:19,386 --> 00:52:20,679
I hope all goes well.

967
00:52:20,804 --> 00:52:22,931
The staff are really excited
about your mission.

968
00:52:23,057 --> 00:52:24,642
They all wish you
the very best of luck, sir.

969
00:52:24,725 --> 00:52:25,684
- Really?
- Oh!

970
00:52:25,768 --> 00:52:27,186
Ah, allow me, sir.

971
00:52:28,354 --> 00:52:31,523
Ducks! Sweet birds of youth!

972
00:52:31,732 --> 00:52:33,942
The last relics of a bygone age.

973
00:52:34,360 --> 00:52:36,737
Ah, take it, will you?

974
00:52:39,365 --> 00:52:41,241
Captain Tabasco's suite.

975
00:52:41,367 --> 00:52:42,201
Who?

976
00:52:42,951 --> 00:52:44,036
It's a Mr Morris.

977
00:52:44,119 --> 00:52:46,038
I believe you asked the switchboard
to get him for you, sir.

978
00:52:46,121 --> 00:52:47,247
Oh, yes.

979
00:52:47,956 --> 00:52:48,749
A very good morning

980
00:52:48,832 --> 00:52:50,000
<i>to you, my dear fellow.</i>

981
00:52:50,626 --> 00:52:52,503
Look, I've got a rather unusual request.

982
00:52:52,628 --> 00:52:53,629
<i>Yes? What is it?</i>

983
00:52:53,754 --> 00:52:55,422
I believe you look after the singer,

984
00:52:55,547 --> 00:52:56,632
<i>Miss Sylvie Tarnet.</i>

985
00:52:57,549 --> 00:53:00,969
Er, well, my nephew refuses to eat,
unless he's got a look of her hair,

986
00:53:01,053 --> 00:53:02,429
and a signed photograph.

987
00:53:02,721 --> 00:53:04,640
Well, it's not an unusual request.
We get hundreds.

988
00:53:04,765 --> 00:53:07,434
All from nephews.
Sylvie has that effect on them.

989
00:53:07,685 --> 00:53:09,478
Oh, look, send it round
by special messenger

990
00:53:09,561 --> 00:53:11,146
to the Mayfair Hotel, will you?

991
00:53:11,647 --> 00:53:13,107
My name's Tabasco.

992
00:53:13,565 --> 00:53:15,025
We'll get it round to you.

993
00:53:16,402 --> 00:53:17,361
- Sandra.
<i>- Yes, sir.</i>

994
00:53:17,444 --> 00:53:19,196
Get me a Sylvie Tarnet hair sample.

995
00:53:19,530 --> 00:53:20,989
Right away, Mr Morris.

996
00:53:29,039 --> 00:53:30,207
You busy tonight, Sandra?

997
00:53:30,332 --> 00:53:32,835
All I want is a Sylvie Tarnet
hair sample, that's all.

998
00:53:33,001 --> 00:53:34,336
- You're in luck.
- We're all out,

999
00:53:34,420 --> 00:53:36,130
why don't you order some more?

1000
00:53:37,131 --> 00:53:38,090
Will you do this one, Miss Week?

1001
00:53:38,173 --> 00:53:39,758
I'm not on Sylvie, dear.

1002
00:53:39,842 --> 00:53:41,093
Will you do me a Sylvie signature?

1003
00:53:41,176 --> 00:53:42,469
I'm not doing Sylvie now.

1004
00:53:42,594 --> 00:53:44,138
I'm on Tony and the Boys.

1005
00:53:44,513 --> 00:53:46,515
They're getting very popular, you know.

1006
00:53:46,640 --> 00:53:48,976
I even do the Cavemen sometimes.

1007
00:53:49,101 --> 00:53:53,188
You never do the Cavemen, Miss Osmond.
The Cavemen are mine exclusively.

1008
00:53:53,647 --> 00:53:55,399
You come to me, dear,
if you want the Cavemen, not her.

1009
00:53:55,524 --> 00:53:58,986
Look, Barry's asked for this signed.
I'm sure he doesn't care who does it.

1010
00:53:59,194 --> 00:54:01,447
Well, I'm not doing Sylvie's signature.
That's Miss Hutton's job.

1011
00:54:01,572 --> 00:54:02,906
She'll be furious.
Look, there she is.

1012
00:54:02,990 --> 00:54:05,534
What is it, Sandra?
Want a Sylvie, do you?

1013
00:54:05,659 --> 00:54:07,119
Yes, please, Miss Hutton.

1014
00:54:17,379 --> 00:54:19,715
You don't get a "thank you"
today, do you?

1015
00:54:21,133 --> 00:54:23,093
- Is that the Sylvie Tarnet hair and photo?
- Yes.

1016
00:54:23,177 --> 00:54:25,471
Oh, Barry wants me to take it
down to the Mayfair right away.

1017
00:54:25,554 --> 00:54:28,974
Put a Sylvie Tarnet on, will you?
She's expected in any minute.

1018
00:54:29,767 --> 00:54:31,935
<i>♪ Wherever you want to go... ♪</i>

1019
00:54:32,603 --> 00:54:35,147
- Oh! Morning, Miss Tarnet.
- Bonjour, John.

1020
00:54:37,524 --> 00:54:39,651
- Hello, my dear!
- Hello, Miss Hutton.

1021
00:54:39,777 --> 00:54:43,405
- How's it going?
- Wonderful, dear. Just wonderful.

1022
00:54:43,614 --> 00:54:46,033
Yesterday, I did nearly three hundred.

1023
00:54:46,658 --> 00:54:48,243
A lot from girls as well.

1024
00:54:48,410 --> 00:54:49,745
Thank you, Miss Hutton.
We do appreciate it.

1025
00:54:49,912 --> 00:54:51,789
But Sylvie has to see Mr Morris now.

1026
00:54:55,793 --> 00:54:57,711
Oh, Sylvie, good, it's you.

1027
00:54:57,795 --> 00:54:59,254
Oh, er, look, take it, will you, darling?

1028
00:54:59,379 --> 00:55:00,839
- Take it.
- Hold on a minute, please.

1029
00:55:00,923 --> 00:55:01,673
Now, look, darling, you're late.

1030
00:55:01,757 --> 00:55:03,300
We've got to be in the TV studio
in half an hour.

1031
00:55:03,383 --> 00:55:05,427
Now, I'm coming with you.
The Cavemen are on too.

1032
00:55:05,511 --> 00:55:07,429
- Barry, I want to talk to you.
- Yes, in the car, darling.

1033
00:55:07,513 --> 00:55:09,223
Barry, you said I could have a holiday.

1034
00:55:09,348 --> 00:55:11,225
Yes, I know, darling, but look, the
business is falling to pieces, darling.

1035
00:55:11,308 --> 00:55:12,351
You've got to make this record or...

1036
00:55:12,684 --> 00:55:13,894
- Name, please.
<i>- McGregor.</i>

1037
00:55:14,019 --> 00:55:15,604
- McGregor.
<i>- A look of hair.</i>

1038
00:55:15,687 --> 00:55:18,315
A look of hair. I'm afraid there'll be
a delay on that, Mr McGregor.

1039
00:55:18,398 --> 00:55:19,399
<i>If you'd like to write in?</i>

1040
00:55:19,525 --> 00:55:20,859
The point is this.

1041
00:55:20,984 --> 00:55:23,278
It's for my little nephew,
actually,

1042
00:55:23,362 --> 00:55:25,489
<i>you see.
He's a very intelligent little chap.</i>

1043
00:55:25,697 --> 00:55:27,074
He's very bright. He's only four.

1044
00:55:27,199 --> 00:55:31,703
Now, he'll not go to sleep at night,
unless we put on

1045
00:55:31,787 --> 00:55:34,289
<i>one of Miss Sylvie Tarnet's records.</i>

1046
00:55:34,414 --> 00:55:35,916
Wouldn't anything else
satisfy him,

1047
00:55:35,999 --> 00:55:39,670
<i>- Mr McGregor?</i>
- It's a look of hair, or nothing.

1048
00:55:39,753 --> 00:55:42,256
Listen, is there any way in which
I can get in touch

1049
00:55:42,381 --> 00:55:44,550
with this Miss Tarnet, personally?

1050
00:55:44,758 --> 00:55:46,969
Miss Tarnet's recording a TV show today.

1051
00:55:47,261 --> 00:55:49,304
Oh, yes?
Er, where would that be?

1052
00:55:49,429 --> 00:55:51,640
We don't give addresses,
Mr McGregor.

1053
00:55:51,723 --> 00:55:54,685
Well, we'll soon get round that,
my dear.

1054
00:56:02,609 --> 00:56:05,487
♪ Love was there

1055
00:56:05,654 --> 00:56:08,448
<i>♪ Right from the start</i>

1056
00:56:08,574 --> 00:56:10,909
<i>- ♪ He held my hand... ♪</i>
- Come in to camera four.

1057
00:56:11,410 --> 00:56:14,788
♪ And he melted my heart

1058
00:56:16,290 --> 00:56:21,336
♪ Love, loving him was so fine

1059
00:56:21,837 --> 00:56:24,840
♪ And he was mine

1060
00:56:25,299 --> 00:56:28,719
♪ And every single day,
I used to hear him say

1061
00:56:29,678 --> 00:56:32,514
♪ "I'll be true to you, baby..." ♪

1062
00:56:33,307 --> 00:56:35,183
<i>- ♪ "I'll be..." ♪</i>
- Oh, it's no good, anyway!

1063
00:56:35,517 --> 00:56:36,602
<i>Because, for the dancing,</i>

1064
00:56:36,685 --> 00:56:38,896
I should be there,
and I'm only here.

1065
00:56:39,897 --> 00:56:41,899
You will have to walk faster,
won't you, Sylvie?

1066
00:56:42,024 --> 00:56:45,110
- While you're singing your song.
- She's a singer, not a racehorse.

1067
00:56:45,193 --> 00:56:46,778
Now go out there and fix it.

1068
00:56:46,862 --> 00:56:48,155
I've got a lot of money
tied up in this girl.

1069
00:56:48,280 --> 00:56:49,823
I want her to look good.

1070
00:56:50,407 --> 00:56:52,659
I'm coming down, Sylvie, darling.
We'll work something out.

1071
00:56:53,035 --> 00:56:54,912
Um, where's this dancer fella,

1072
00:56:54,995 --> 00:56:56,622
- Norman Stone?
<i>I haven't seen him</i>

1073
00:56:56,705 --> 00:56:58,624
for quarter of an hour.
I don't know where he's gone.

1074
00:56:58,749 --> 00:56:59,875
Well, he's meant to be here.
Get him.

1075
00:57:00,083 --> 00:57:01,752
I don't know why you can't keep
these small-part people

1076
00:57:01,919 --> 00:57:03,503
- where they should be.
<i>- Right away.</i>

1077
00:57:03,587 --> 00:57:05,797
I'm sorry, Peter.
Have you seen that Norman Stone?

1078
00:57:05,923 --> 00:57:08,091
- No, not for a while.
- Typical.

1079
00:57:08,175 --> 00:57:10,928
He'd lose himself anywhere.
Miserable little man.

1080
00:57:11,470 --> 00:57:13,138
The producer said to me,
"You're a star.

1081
00:57:13,221 --> 00:57:14,640
"A star, not just a dancer."

1082
00:57:14,765 --> 00:57:17,225
In fact, he said,
"Norman, you're very, very versatile."

1083
00:57:17,351 --> 00:57:19,978
- He really said that?
- No, what he actually said was,

1084
00:57:20,062 --> 00:57:21,772
"There must be something else
you can do."

1085
00:57:25,233 --> 00:57:27,194
Watch it, there's
a wild Scotsman on the loose.

1086
00:57:27,277 --> 00:57:30,364
Well, you go and sit down there.
I'll deal with it. Right.

1087
00:57:31,114 --> 00:57:32,491
Good morning, Sergeant.
I have an appointment

1088
00:57:32,616 --> 00:57:33,784
with Miss Sylvie Tarnet.

1089
00:57:33,909 --> 00:57:36,244
- Which way do I go, please?
- You go and sit down there,

1090
00:57:36,370 --> 00:57:38,538
- otherwise out you go.
- No, no, no, no, no.

1091
00:57:38,664 --> 00:57:41,917
No doubt you think I'm making this up,
rather like that fellow over there.

1092
00:57:42,042 --> 00:57:44,962
Yes, I do. I've had dealings
with you foreigners before.

1093
00:57:45,087 --> 00:57:46,380
You learn this by experience,

1094
00:57:46,463 --> 00:57:48,966
but we can't have every <i>hoi polloi</i>
come barging in here.

1095
00:57:49,091 --> 00:57:50,926
I'll tell you something.
I'll tell you something.

1096
00:57:51,009 --> 00:57:53,261
Actually, it's for my little nephew.

1097
00:57:53,387 --> 00:57:54,429
Huh!

1098
00:57:54,554 --> 00:57:56,974
- You'd love him.
- Yeah, I'm very fond of children.

1099
00:57:57,057 --> 00:58:00,310
A kind nature I have, you see.
You can't fight human nature.

1100
00:58:00,394 --> 00:58:03,355
But I have my duty to do,
so sit down there, please.

1101
00:58:04,106 --> 00:58:07,109
A little boy is in hospital.
He's pining away.

1102
00:58:07,275 --> 00:58:08,819
Come on, Mac. Wait your turn.

1103
00:58:08,944 --> 00:58:11,697
All right. But remember,
I came here before him.

1104
00:58:15,784 --> 00:58:18,578
Hi, er, listen, these flowers
are for Miss Tarnet. Okay?

1105
00:58:18,704 --> 00:58:21,039
Ah, ah, ah!
I gotta tell you something, sir.

1106
00:58:21,123 --> 00:58:22,916
Miss Turnit can't take flowers.

1107
00:58:23,000 --> 00:58:26,128
They give her terrible hay fever.
She gets all pollinated.

1108
00:58:26,253 --> 00:58:28,714
So we have to nick 'em
straight off to the hospital, sir.

1109
00:58:28,839 --> 00:58:31,675
Now, you sit down,
next to this foreign gentleman.

1110
00:58:31,800 --> 00:58:35,429
He's nickin' off to the hospital.
He's got a nephew in terrible pain.

1111
00:58:35,554 --> 00:58:36,555
Ain't that right, sir?

1112
00:58:36,805 --> 00:58:38,515
- Kelly!
- Right!

1113
00:58:39,725 --> 00:58:42,102
Kelly, when you were in the bar just now,
was Norman Stone there?

1114
00:58:42,352 --> 00:58:43,186
The bar, sir?

1115
00:58:43,311 --> 00:58:45,063
I looked not neither right,
nor left, sir.

1116
00:58:45,188 --> 00:58:47,816
I was straight in and out, sir,
seeing as I was on duty, sir.

1117
00:58:47,899 --> 00:58:49,985
You know who I mean?
Norman Stone, the dancer?

1118
00:58:50,110 --> 00:58:51,570
I let him out for ten minutes.

1119
00:58:51,695 --> 00:58:53,530
He said he had to have a drink
and now I can't find him.

1120
00:58:53,613 --> 00:58:55,741
I saw neither
sight nor sound of him, sir,

1121
00:58:55,866 --> 00:58:57,909
during the whole half hour
what I was there, sir.

1122
00:58:58,160 --> 00:58:59,578
It all happens to me.

1123
00:59:00,746 --> 00:59:02,289
Ah! The Cavemen!

1124
00:59:16,678 --> 00:59:17,804
You let that American in!

1125
00:59:17,929 --> 00:59:18,847
I'm going in as well.

1126
00:59:18,930 --> 00:59:20,223
Watch it! Jim!

1127
00:59:20,682 --> 00:59:21,600
Get him out of here.

1128
00:59:21,683 --> 00:59:24,895
You cannot do this to fans.
Supposing we all stop buying records?

1129
00:59:25,020 --> 00:59:26,063
Clear off out of it.

1130
00:59:29,483 --> 00:59:31,026
Excuse me,
aren't you Norman Stone?

1131
00:59:31,109 --> 00:59:32,694
Of course!
People ask me all the time.

1132
00:59:32,778 --> 00:59:34,446
I'm Norman Stone, the well known...
What's your name, son?

1133
00:59:34,529 --> 00:59:36,782
- Oh, Tim.
- "To Tim. Best wishes, Norman Stone."

1134
00:59:36,907 --> 00:59:38,658
There you are. Keep it.
It'll be very valuable.

1135
00:59:38,784 --> 00:59:40,368
You dance with Sylvie Tarnet, don't you?

1136
00:59:40,494 --> 00:59:41,620
Who else, baby?
Who else?

1137
00:59:41,703 --> 00:59:43,789
So, d'you remember when I did...

1138
00:59:43,914 --> 00:59:45,290
I remember that!

1139
00:59:46,875 --> 00:59:48,043
- Hey, you really do remember.
- Sure.

1140
00:59:48,126 --> 00:59:51,755
How about when I did...

1141
00:59:52,923 --> 00:59:54,132
Then you did this one, remember?

1142
00:59:57,177 --> 00:59:58,678
- Then this one!
- Oh, yeah!

1143
00:59:58,804 --> 00:59:59,930
- You went...
- Yeah!

1144
01:00:00,013 --> 01:00:01,139
- This way!
- Yeah!

1145
01:00:01,223 --> 01:00:04,059
And then the band came over,
the brass were playing, and...

1146
01:00:18,406 --> 01:00:19,825
Who are you?

1147
01:00:19,908 --> 01:00:23,662
I'm, er, Norman Stone's, er, understudy.

1148
01:00:23,787 --> 01:00:24,955
Understudy?

1149
01:00:25,122 --> 01:00:28,834
Yes, um, you see, Norman was taken "I
in the pub over the road, er,

1150
01:00:28,959 --> 01:00:30,293
and I was having a drink with him,

1151
01:00:30,418 --> 01:00:32,796
and, you see, Normie and I,
we used to dance together,

1152
01:00:32,879 --> 01:00:34,548
and he said I should come over
and help him out.

1153
01:00:34,673 --> 01:00:36,883
That's all I need.
Okay, follow me.

1154
01:00:38,468 --> 01:00:40,554
Isn't it about time for
the run-through, Peter?

1155
01:00:40,679 --> 01:00:42,556
Well, how can I run through
without Stone?

1156
01:00:43,181 --> 01:00:45,308
- Well, where is he?
- He doesn't feel too well, Peter,

1157
01:00:45,433 --> 01:00:47,227
- but this is, um...
- Er, Tim. Tim Morton.

1158
01:00:47,352 --> 01:00:48,937
He's a dancer. He'll do it.

1159
01:00:49,020 --> 01:00:51,148
Now, look, I'm not gonna have
Sylvie go on with some amateur.

1160
01:00:51,273 --> 01:00:52,732
Oh, give him a chance, Barry.

1161
01:00:52,858 --> 01:00:54,568
He cannot be worse than Stone.

1162
01:00:55,569 --> 01:00:57,779
All right.
Give him a chance.

1163
01:00:57,863 --> 01:00:59,906
But if he's no good, he's out.

1164
01:01:00,448 --> 01:01:01,741
Well, come over here.
You come too, Sylvie.

1165
01:01:01,867 --> 01:01:03,451
I'll show you what to do.

1166
01:01:04,703 --> 01:01:06,371
Now, you'll start here.

1167
01:01:06,454 --> 01:01:09,875
And, er, we're miming to
"I'll Be True to You, Baby".

1168
01:01:10,417 --> 01:01:12,210
- Do you know it?
- Oh!

1169
01:01:12,294 --> 01:01:15,547
Good.
Now, you come in on the tenth bar...

1170
01:01:16,089 --> 01:01:18,967
Here, you two gentlemen are keen
on Miss Turnit, aren't you?

1171
01:01:19,050 --> 01:01:21,845
Well, I'm done gonna do you
a good turn. You can see her.

1172
01:01:21,928 --> 01:01:23,889
I'll let you see her...

1173
01:01:23,972 --> 01:01:24,890
on this.

1174
01:01:27,017 --> 01:01:29,769
That's what they call
a closed circuit, that is.

1175
01:01:32,314 --> 01:01:35,150
<i>♪ Love was there</i>

1176
01:01:35,233 --> 01:01:38,195
<i>♪ Right from the start... ♪</i>

1177
01:01:38,778 --> 01:01:41,364
It's a fair piece, that.
A fair piece.

1178
01:01:41,573 --> 01:01:42,949
Scots blood there, all right.

1179
01:01:43,158 --> 01:01:45,619
<i>♪ "Heart</i>

1180
01:01:45,827 --> 01:01:48,079
♪ Love

1181
01:01:48,163 --> 01:01:50,123
<i>♪ Loving him was so fine.</i>

1182
01:01:50,207 --> 01:01:52,334
Dancer's not bad either.
Look, the boy, the boy.

1183
01:01:52,667 --> 01:01:54,002
On you, two.

1184
01:01:55,212 --> 01:01:56,713
<i>♪ And every single day</i>

1185
01:01:56,796 --> 01:01:58,757
♪ I used to hear him say

1186
01:01:59,674 --> 01:02:02,219
<i>♪ "I'll be true to you, baby..." ♪</i>

1187
01:02:02,427 --> 01:02:04,054
- That's not a dancer!
- He's a fraud, I tell you!

1188
01:02:04,179 --> 01:02:06,598
It's our American!
He's got to be stopped!

1189
01:02:09,684 --> 01:02:10,894
Now, watch this.

1190
01:02:11,019 --> 01:02:12,729
It's an old commando thing.

1191
01:02:12,979 --> 01:02:14,731
<i>Lang may yer lum reek!</i>

1192
01:02:25,325 --> 01:02:26,326
Go in to camera four.

1193
01:02:27,869 --> 01:02:30,956
<i>♪ How I wish you would see</i>

1194
01:02:31,831 --> 01:02:34,626
♪ I know that you'll

1195
01:02:34,709 --> 01:02:37,921
♪ Never love him like me

1196
01:02:39,339 --> 01:02:44,386
♪ I loved my baby so well

1197
01:02:45,553 --> 01:02:48,640
<i>♪ But I can tell... ♪</i>

1198
01:02:48,723 --> 01:02:49,557
Cut!

1199
01:02:49,641 --> 01:02:52,394
♪ But on a summer's day,
you're gonna hear him say... ♪

1200
01:02:53,478 --> 01:02:56,564
<i>- ♪ "I'll be true to you, baby" ♪
- ♪ But don't you believe it ♪</i>

1201
01:02:56,731 --> 01:02:59,317
<i>- ♪ "I'll be true to you, baby" ♪</i>
- ♪ Don't you believe it ♪

1202
01:03:01,319 --> 01:03:02,362
Oh!

1203
01:03:03,488 --> 01:03:06,032
- Where did you learn to dance?
- Well, I...

1204
01:03:06,116 --> 01:03:08,827
I didn't, really. I-I used to do
some shows in college and everything.

1205
01:03:08,994 --> 01:03:11,246
Mmm. Well, that take
seemed fine. Um...

1206
01:03:11,329 --> 01:03:12,998
May do one more.
What did you think, Barry?

1207
01:03:13,123 --> 01:03:15,834
Not bad.
In fact, he's better than Stone.

1208
01:03:16,001 --> 01:03:17,377
Let's go and see him.

1209
01:03:18,628 --> 01:03:21,589
So, tell me about yourself.
I mean, how did you start singin'?

1210
01:03:21,715 --> 01:03:23,758
Oh, I sung because I liked it.

1211
01:03:23,883 --> 01:03:25,135
That was when I started.

1212
01:03:25,427 --> 01:03:27,679
- But now, it's just a business.
- Yeah, you know, I...

1213
01:03:27,804 --> 01:03:28,847
I'm not really, er...

1214
01:03:29,139 --> 01:03:29,889
Well, what I mean is...

1215
01:03:33,059 --> 01:03:37,272
I am sorry to disturb you two
creative artists at a time like this.

1216
01:03:37,397 --> 01:03:41,192
But I just wanted to tell you
how charming I thought that song was

1217
01:03:41,276 --> 01:03:43,778
that you were singing just now.
It's charming.

1218
01:03:43,862 --> 01:03:46,614
And you, sir, you did
quite a talented little dance there.

1219
01:03:47,073 --> 01:03:49,117
Sort of knees and...

1220
01:03:49,993 --> 01:03:52,454
Um... I don't want to trouble you,
but I wonder if

1221
01:03:52,579 --> 01:03:54,497
I could possibly have your autograph.

1222
01:03:54,622 --> 01:03:56,082
It's for my wee nephew.

1223
01:03:56,207 --> 01:03:57,667
- Oh, of course.
- Thank you, and, er,

1224
01:03:57,792 --> 01:04:00,337
while you're about it,
how about a look of your hair?

1225
01:04:00,420 --> 01:04:02,881
Stop! That man's an idiot. He...

1226
01:04:05,008 --> 01:04:06,926
Get him out of the way!
What's he doing there?!

1227
01:04:07,010 --> 01:04:08,261
Come on. It's like a murder out there.
Come on.

1228
01:04:08,345 --> 01:04:10,513
- Who are you?
- Um... I'm a visitor.

1229
01:04:10,597 --> 01:04:11,765
Get him out of here.

1230
01:04:11,890 --> 01:04:13,266
- I beg your pardon.
- Well, this is absolutely fantastic.

1231
01:04:13,350 --> 01:04:14,184
- It's madness.
- It's amazing.

1232
01:04:14,351 --> 01:04:16,394
When you're watching television at home,
it all looks so organised.

1233
01:04:16,478 --> 01:04:18,355
- Out!
- I'd no idea there was such confusion.

1234
01:04:19,356 --> 01:04:20,774
Oh, hello, madam.
Would you have a picture?

1235
01:04:21,399 --> 01:04:22,984
...laid on for Amsterdam,
so everything's...

1236
01:04:24,694 --> 01:04:26,237
Hey, where do you live?
Quickly. What's your address?

1237
01:04:26,363 --> 01:04:28,365
- Elm Tree Close, 18.
- Yes!

1238
01:04:28,531 --> 01:04:31,201
If you ever need a hoofer, call me.

1239
01:04:33,036 --> 01:04:34,704
I'm the one who got the dance gig!

1240
01:04:39,959 --> 01:04:41,086
Remember me?

1241
01:04:41,336 --> 01:04:42,128
Hi, Annabelle.

1242
01:04:42,504 --> 01:04:44,047
Is that all you can say?

1243
01:04:44,172 --> 01:04:46,299
I've been looking for you
since last evening.

1244
01:04:46,549 --> 01:04:48,510
Well, I was locked in
the store room all night.

1245
01:04:48,802 --> 01:04:50,512
All day, too?

1246
01:04:50,804 --> 01:04:52,389
No, I was after that pop singer.

1247
01:04:52,514 --> 01:04:54,557
Oh, did you get her?
Hair, I mean.

1248
01:04:54,682 --> 01:04:57,811
No, but I got her address.
18, Elm Tree Close.

1249
01:04:58,812 --> 01:05:00,814
You'd better go and
get our secret orders.

1250
01:05:00,897 --> 01:05:02,399
All right. Come on.

1251
01:05:02,732 --> 01:05:04,776
I can't go to Tweedles!
I'm a girl.

1252
01:05:04,859 --> 01:05:06,945
So what? Live dangerously.

1253
01:05:07,404 --> 01:05:08,863
They'll probably love you.

1254
01:05:09,697 --> 01:05:13,868
It's a ghastly place, this.
You can't join unless you're over seventy.

1255
01:05:13,952 --> 01:05:15,870
My uncle joined
when he was sixty-eight,

1256
01:05:15,954 --> 01:05:18,373
and they still call him
Young Robeson.

1257
01:05:21,543 --> 01:05:23,711
That is not a musical instrument, sir.

1258
01:05:24,212 --> 01:05:26,047
Well, it's there to be rung, isn't it?

1259
01:05:26,339 --> 01:05:29,134
To be rung, yes,
but not to play tunes on.

1260
01:05:29,592 --> 01:05:32,137
My name is Lieutenant Timothy Morton,
US Air Force.

1261
01:05:32,262 --> 01:05:34,722
- I've come for a letter.
- Very well, sir.

1262
01:05:35,014 --> 01:05:36,683
Would the lady wait outside?

1263
01:05:37,767 --> 01:05:38,810
What are you talking about?

1264
01:05:39,394 --> 01:05:41,938
Parkins! Parkins!
What on Earth's that?

1265
01:05:42,564 --> 01:05:43,731
It's a girl, sir.

1266
01:05:44,232 --> 01:05:46,359
I know that.
What's she doing in here?

1267
01:05:46,943 --> 01:05:49,154
This club's been running
two hundred years, Parkins,

1268
01:05:49,237 --> 01:05:50,280
without females.

1269
01:05:50,363 --> 01:05:52,866
It's an outrage.
Get her out! Get her out!

1270
01:05:52,991 --> 01:05:54,659
Oh, yes, sir.
I do apologise, sir. I'm...

1271
01:05:54,742 --> 01:05:57,579
Madam, would you mind
leaving immediately, please?

1272
01:05:59,330 --> 01:06:02,000
Reeves, bring down
Lieutenant Morton's

1273
01:06:02,083 --> 01:06:03,960
<i>- letter at once.</i>
- Right away, sir.

1274
01:06:25,857 --> 01:06:27,192
There we are, sir.

1275
01:06:29,777 --> 01:06:31,571
Watch your language, please, sir.

1276
01:06:31,654 --> 01:06:33,656
We've had complaints
from some of the members

1277
01:06:33,740 --> 01:06:35,909
when the others opened theirs.

1278
01:06:36,034 --> 01:06:37,619
- Oh, f...
- Quiet!

1279
01:06:37,702 --> 01:06:39,037
Fantastic!

1280
01:06:44,584 --> 01:06:46,127
Well, what is it?

1281
01:06:47,378 --> 01:06:49,172
How can anyone get that?

1282
01:06:49,547 --> 01:06:50,882
"The Lutine Bell."

1283
01:06:51,799 --> 01:06:53,801
What on Earth's the Lutine Bell?

1284
01:06:53,927 --> 01:06:57,305
<i>The Lutine Bell,
mounted above the caller's rostrum,</i>

1285
01:06:57,388 --> 01:07:01,059
<i>is famed throughout the world
as the symbol of Lloyd's of London.</i>

1286
01:07:01,851 --> 01:07:04,646
<i>The bell was brought up from
the wreck of the frigate Lutine,</i>

1287
01:07:04,729 --> 01:07:06,439
<i>more than a hundred years ago,</i>

1288
01:07:06,564 --> 01:07:09,776
<i>when they were salvaging
her million-pound cargo of gold.</i>

1289
01:07:10,485 --> 01:07:12,654
<i>That was in 1799.</i>

1290
01:07:13,238 --> 01:07:17,492
<i>And her cargo was insured here at
Lloyd's of London, ladies and gentlemen.</i>

1291
01:07:18,826 --> 01:07:21,579
And today, over a hundred
and sixty years later,

1292
01:07:21,704 --> 01:07:24,332
we insure the majority
of the world's shipping,

1293
01:07:24,415 --> 01:07:28,002
to a number of independent
syndicates and brokers.

1294
01:07:28,086 --> 01:07:28,962
Will they ring it?

1295
01:07:29,087 --> 01:07:31,839
Ah, well, sir,
the bell is traditionally rung

1296
01:07:31,965 --> 01:07:34,342
whenever a ship is presumed lost at sea

1297
01:07:34,425 --> 01:07:36,094
and then found to be safe.

1298
01:07:36,386 --> 01:07:38,096
Now, if you look below here,

1299
01:07:38,221 --> 01:07:40,557
you can see
the underwriters' boxes,

1300
01:07:40,640 --> 01:07:42,934
where the brokers
contact the underwriters

1301
01:07:43,017 --> 01:07:44,769
to get their risks accepted,

1302
01:07:45,019 --> 01:07:47,272
often for many millions of pounds.

1303
01:07:51,943 --> 01:07:54,112
Telephone for you,
Mr Butler-Rigg.

1304
01:07:54,821 --> 01:07:56,447
Hello, Butler-Rigg here.

1305
01:07:56,739 --> 01:07:58,491
Oh, hello, Bill.
This is Fitzroy.

1306
01:07:58,575 --> 01:08:01,119
How's Lloyd's of London
treating you these days?

1307
01:08:01,452 --> 01:08:02,453
Oh, it's all right.

1308
01:08:02,579 --> 01:08:05,248
Look, Fitzroy, I can't talk now.
I'll call you back sometime.

1309
01:08:05,582 --> 01:08:06,874
You're going to
come and see me, Bill.

1310
01:08:07,375 --> 01:08:09,168
<i>Why don't you be
my guest this evening?</i>

1311
01:08:09,544 --> 01:08:11,796
Well, actually,
I'm rather tied up this evening.

1312
01:08:12,380 --> 01:08:14,882
Then you must untie yourself,
mustn't you, Bill?

1313
01:08:14,966 --> 01:08:16,384
Yes, I've got a little job for you.

1314
01:08:16,718 --> 01:08:18,636
No, thank you, Fitzroy!

1315
01:08:19,262 --> 01:08:20,430
Bill, you remember that, er...

1316
01:08:20,513 --> 01:08:22,307
that weekend in Brighton
we had last summer

1317
01:08:22,390 --> 01:08:24,309
<i>with those two delightful girls?</i>

1318
01:08:24,726 --> 01:08:26,519
They've come to see us, Bill.

1319
01:08:27,478 --> 01:08:28,896
And Lesley...

1320
01:08:29,022 --> 01:08:30,106
You remember Lesley,

1321
01:08:30,189 --> 01:08:31,608
<i>don't you, Bill?</i>

1322
01:08:31,733 --> 01:08:34,402
Well, she's brought some lovely oysters
just for your din-dins.

1323
01:08:34,694 --> 01:08:35,528
I, er...

1324
01:08:35,612 --> 01:08:39,490
Look, you know I'm engaged now
to Clarissa Penfold.

1325
01:08:39,616 --> 01:08:41,326
You were at the engagement party.

1326
01:08:41,618 --> 01:08:43,745
Oh, I know, Bill.
But this'll only take an evening.

1327
01:08:43,870 --> 01:08:46,289
And you wouldn't want me
to tell Clarissa or her father

1328
01:08:46,372 --> 01:08:49,083
<i>- about our weekend, now, would you?</i>
- You wouldn't!

1329
01:08:49,334 --> 01:08:50,627
Well, of course not, old chap.

1330
01:08:50,752 --> 01:08:53,671
As long as you bring something
along with you to dinner tonight.

1331
01:08:53,755 --> 01:08:55,548
Oh, you can probably see it
from where you're sitting.

1332
01:08:55,632 --> 01:08:57,967
<i>You can't miss it, in fact.
It's, um...</i>

1333
01:08:58,468 --> 01:08:59,594
It's the Lutine Bell.

1334
01:09:04,057 --> 01:09:08,186
Out here in the gallery, non-marine
insurance handles almost anything.

1335
01:09:08,603 --> 01:09:10,897
Film stars' legs, for example.

1336
01:09:11,022 --> 01:09:13,107
<i>And, er, fashion being what it is,</i>

1337
01:09:13,232 --> 01:09:15,151
<i>other parts of the anatomy.</i>

1338
01:09:15,234 --> 01:09:17,195
I'll never be able to get in here.
It's impossible!

1339
01:09:17,528 --> 01:09:18,529
We can do it.

1340
01:09:26,788 --> 01:09:27,789
Thank you.

1341
01:09:27,955 --> 01:09:30,333
How will they manage this, Foskett, eh?

1342
01:09:30,500 --> 01:09:31,959
Pretty good, pretty good.

1343
01:09:32,669 --> 01:09:34,003
That's enough, thanks.

1344
01:09:34,128 --> 01:09:35,463
What-What's that, sir?

1345
01:09:35,546 --> 01:09:37,757
Well, the Lutine Bell.
This'll make 'em sit up.

1346
01:09:37,882 --> 01:09:39,926
Just one of those happy thoughts, sir.

1347
01:09:41,427 --> 01:09:43,388
Very good of you to take responsibility.

1348
01:09:43,971 --> 01:09:45,932
Responsibility? Me?

1349
01:09:46,683 --> 01:09:49,352
You did give me carte blanche, sir.
Don't you remember?

1350
01:09:49,560 --> 01:09:52,355
Foskett, you must be out of your mind.

1351
01:09:52,438 --> 01:09:53,606
There'll be the devil of a row.

1352
01:09:53,690 --> 01:09:56,109
Do you really think I'm going to risk
not getting a knighthood,

1353
01:09:56,192 --> 01:09:58,569
just to cover up for you?
Oho! No, my boy!

1354
01:09:58,653 --> 01:10:01,114
This is your baby.
Your baby entirely.

1355
01:10:01,239 --> 01:10:03,574
But, sir,
I don't see any difficulty.

1356
01:10:03,700 --> 01:10:05,660
I mean, if nobody gets it,
there's no problem.

1357
01:10:05,743 --> 01:10:07,954
If somebody does,
we'll send it back anonymously.

1358
01:10:08,037 --> 01:10:09,539
"Send it back"?
What are you talking about?

1359
01:10:09,706 --> 01:10:11,666
It must weigh a ton!
It's impossible.

1360
01:10:11,749 --> 01:10:14,252
Oh, no, sir, no.
It weighs a hundred and six pounds.

1361
01:10:14,377 --> 01:10:15,962
- Well...
- That's about the average weight

1362
01:10:16,087 --> 01:10:17,422
of a girl of eighteen.

1363
01:10:17,547 --> 01:10:19,966
Difficult. But by no
manner of means impossible.

1364
01:10:24,137 --> 01:10:27,265
- Oh!
- Hello, that's my friend Greg, isn't it?

1365
01:10:28,433 --> 01:10:30,309
Come across him
in the rhododendrons, sir.

1366
01:10:30,601 --> 01:10:32,812
Oh, hard cheese, Clegg.

1367
01:10:32,937 --> 01:10:35,857
- I'm fine, sir.
- That fellow gives me great encouragement.

1368
01:10:35,940 --> 01:10:37,024
- His spirit!
- Good.

1369
01:10:37,150 --> 01:10:39,068
If you'll excuse me, I'll just go
and see that he gets back safely.

1370
01:10:39,152 --> 01:10:40,903
Certainly. Look after him.

1371
01:10:42,155 --> 01:10:44,490
Well done! Well done!

1372
01:10:44,574 --> 01:10:45,950
No!

1373
01:11:06,179 --> 01:11:07,555
Oh! Ooh!

1374
01:11:08,014 --> 01:11:11,517
Come on, Bill. Give us the story.
How on Earth did you get it?

1375
01:11:11,601 --> 01:11:14,103
Now, don't be shy.
We won't tell.

1376
01:11:15,146 --> 01:11:18,941
I've mortgaged
my entire career for this nonsense.

1377
01:11:19,484 --> 01:11:22,278
Well, it's all our big secret.
It's all in the syndicate.

1378
01:11:22,361 --> 01:11:25,823
For whom the bell tolls,
I give you Lloyd's of London.

1379
01:11:34,499 --> 01:11:38,002
There's luck for you.
It'll be easy with that scaffolding up.

1380
01:11:39,796 --> 01:11:41,214
What about the burglar alarms?

1381
01:11:41,339 --> 01:11:43,090
That's why I brought this.

1382
01:11:43,633 --> 01:11:45,092
Oh. What's this?

1383
01:11:45,176 --> 01:11:47,303
It's a pressure gun,
filled with rubber cement.

1384
01:11:47,553 --> 01:11:50,681
One blast into the alarm,
and then wait thirty seconds.

1385
01:11:50,765 --> 01:11:51,766
Where'd you get it?

1386
01:11:51,849 --> 01:11:54,644
I saw it in an absolutely super film.

1387
01:11:54,769 --> 01:11:56,103
Now, hurry up!

1388
01:12:13,120 --> 01:12:14,372
Good evening, constable.

1389
01:12:14,497 --> 01:12:15,790
- You all right?
- Yes.

1390
01:12:15,873 --> 01:12:18,042
- It's a dead end, that street.
- Oh, well, I know now.

1391
01:12:18,167 --> 01:12:19,544
- Silly of me.
- Mmm.

1392
01:12:35,935 --> 01:12:37,270
Ha ha!

1393
01:12:38,229 --> 01:12:39,814
Scaffolding.

1394
01:12:40,940 --> 01:12:43,734
Oh, Sydney. That's very lucky.

1395
01:13:00,585 --> 01:13:01,752
Oh, no!

1396
01:13:01,836 --> 01:13:04,922
Do you mind leavin' this roof?
I was here first.

1397
01:13:05,214 --> 01:13:06,299
Now, wait a minute.

1398
01:13:06,424 --> 01:13:08,301
As your superior officer,
I order you

1399
01:13:08,426 --> 01:13:11,304
to take your great, hairy hands
off of this skylight.

1400
01:13:11,429 --> 01:13:12,722
Drop dead.

1401
01:13:15,725 --> 01:13:17,143
Okay, okay.

1402
01:13:17,226 --> 01:13:18,561
Now hold it, huh?

1403
01:13:18,644 --> 01:13:20,771
Look, neither of us
is gonna win this way.

1404
01:13:20,855 --> 01:13:22,815
They got a burglar alarm
fitted right there.

1405
01:13:22,899 --> 01:13:24,901
Oh, that's an easy one.
I can fix that, all right.

1406
01:13:25,026 --> 01:13:26,319
But who says I'm gonna let you?

1407
01:13:26,652 --> 01:13:27,695
How do you mean?

1408
01:13:28,571 --> 01:13:30,948
Well, how would you like it
if I set off another one?

1409
01:13:31,032 --> 01:13:32,325
Brought the cops up here.

1410
01:13:32,408 --> 01:13:34,493
Wouldn't do you much good,
now, would it?

1411
01:13:34,577 --> 01:13:37,204
Look, you've got the rope.

1412
01:13:37,330 --> 01:13:40,708
Right, then,
let's make a deal, hmm?

1413
01:13:40,791 --> 01:13:42,335
I'll fix the alarm,

1414
01:13:42,460 --> 01:13:44,086
you go down on the rope,
get the bell,

1415
01:13:44,211 --> 01:13:46,964
and then, we can toss a coin
to see who can take the be" away.

1416
01:13:47,089 --> 01:13:48,215
How's that?

1417
01:13:49,216 --> 01:13:50,885
Okay. It's a deal.

1418
01:13:51,177 --> 01:13:53,971
Right. But what are we
gonna use to kill the alarm?

1419
01:13:55,389 --> 01:13:57,350
Pressure gun, loaded with cement.

1420
01:13:57,433 --> 01:13:58,643
Ah...

1421
01:14:03,814 --> 01:14:05,232
Oh, God!

1422
01:14:06,317 --> 01:14:08,945
Birds!
Just wee birds.

1423
01:14:09,528 --> 01:14:11,113
Frightened the life out of me.

1424
01:14:17,787 --> 01:14:19,163
How you doing down there?

1425
01:14:19,497 --> 01:14:20,998
Swingin', just swingin'.

1426
01:14:22,124 --> 01:14:23,626
Happy landings!

1427
01:14:26,837 --> 01:14:27,713
Hard luck, Yank!

1428
01:14:27,964 --> 01:14:29,131
You...

1429
01:14:29,507 --> 01:14:32,385
You wait! You just wait!
I'll get even with you!

1430
01:14:32,551 --> 01:14:34,387
Yeah, better luck next time!

1431
01:14:52,822 --> 01:14:54,699
Mack the Knife, eh?

1432
01:14:55,157 --> 01:14:57,284
Bonnie Prince Charlie, I presume.

1433
01:14:58,828 --> 01:14:59,954
What's this, then?

1434
01:15:00,037 --> 01:15:02,707
Do I understand that you did this
to a senior American officer?

1435
01:15:02,832 --> 01:15:04,417
What's it to you, Jock?

1436
01:15:06,544 --> 01:15:07,712
"Jock"?

1437
01:15:07,837 --> 01:15:10,089
Have you completely
taken leave of your senses?

1438
01:15:10,172 --> 01:15:12,758
Is that the way that you normally address
a regimental sergeant major?

1439
01:15:12,842 --> 01:15:14,844
And, incidentally, hold yourself up
when I'm talking to you.

1440
01:15:15,011 --> 01:15:16,762
Oh, why don't you go
and jump in Loch Lomond?

1441
01:15:16,846 --> 01:15:18,806
Er, no, just a minute, little fellow.
Little Cockney lad.

1442
01:15:18,889 --> 01:15:21,100
Just a minute.
Just let me see that a moment.

1443
01:15:21,183 --> 01:15:22,518
Now, you see,
that's exactly as I thought.

1444
01:15:22,601 --> 01:15:26,230
You see, now, that is Army property.
That knife belongs to the Army!

1445
01:15:26,313 --> 01:15:28,149
What do you think I'm in, then?
The Swiss Navy?

1446
01:15:29,525 --> 01:15:32,069
I know what you're in.
You're in the Army Corps of Transport

1447
01:15:32,194 --> 01:15:36,323
and knives like this are issued
exclusively to the Commandos.

1448
01:15:36,407 --> 01:15:37,783
- You copped it, didn't you?
- Don't.

1449
01:15:37,867 --> 01:15:39,201
You've been nicking Army property.

1450
01:15:39,285 --> 01:15:40,202
- Haven't you?
- Don't, don't.

1451
01:15:40,286 --> 01:15:41,996
- Haven't you?
- Don't push me!

1452
01:15:42,538 --> 01:15:43,456
No?

1453
01:15:46,042 --> 01:15:47,001
No.

1454
01:15:47,752 --> 01:15:50,046
Oh, now, you see.
Now, I saw that.

1455
01:15:50,129 --> 01:15:52,923
You deliberately struck
a senior officer then.

1456
01:15:53,382 --> 01:15:55,051
You're on a charge.

1457
01:15:58,512 --> 01:15:59,680
- Am I?
- Yes!

1458
01:15:59,764 --> 01:16:01,891
- I'm on a charge?
- Yeah, you're on a charge.

1459
01:16:02,016 --> 01:16:04,477
Well, in that case,
I'll have my money's worth.

1460
01:16:04,935 --> 01:16:07,229
Oh, that's marvellous.

1461
01:16:07,646 --> 01:16:08,606
Stand back.

1462
01:16:09,648 --> 01:16:11,067
Oh, what's the matter with you?

1463
01:16:16,697 --> 01:16:17,948
Blimey!
What do we do now?

1464
01:16:18,074 --> 01:16:20,159
- I've a fine idea.
- What?

1465
01:16:20,367 --> 01:16:21,327
Run!

1466
01:16:49,772 --> 01:16:50,856
This way!

1467
01:16:50,981 --> 01:16:52,399
Just a minute.
Just a minute. Just a minute.

1468
01:16:52,483 --> 01:16:53,359
- We've been there.
- Yeah.

1469
01:16:53,442 --> 01:16:54,235
- We've been there.
- Yeah.

1470
01:16:54,318 --> 01:16:56,278
- Haven't been there. Follow me.
- No!

1471
01:17:03,869 --> 01:17:05,621
- Whoa!
- Oi, you! What's the idea?!

1472
01:17:05,704 --> 01:17:07,414
Oi, come here!
Come back here!

1473
01:17:17,258 --> 01:17:18,384
Over here.

1474
01:17:19,176 --> 01:17:20,302
Hurry up.

1475
01:17:24,723 --> 01:17:27,101
I got it!
Weighs a ton, too.

1476
01:17:27,184 --> 01:17:28,269
Super!

1477
01:17:44,493 --> 01:17:46,120
Hold tight, Timmy, darling.

1478
01:17:47,580 --> 01:17:50,040
Hey, Annabelle, come back!
You forgot me!

1479
01:17:50,291 --> 01:17:52,459
Gosh! I'm hungry.
Let's get something to eat, huh?

1480
01:17:52,585 --> 01:17:53,669
Oh, yes!

1481
01:17:54,378 --> 01:17:56,130
Why don't you cook me something?

1482
01:17:56,213 --> 01:17:57,464
McGregor!

1483
01:17:57,548 --> 01:17:59,425
Stop it! Stop it!

1484
01:18:11,270 --> 01:18:13,189
Give me back my flower!

1485
01:18:16,734 --> 01:18:19,570
Here, watch it, watch it!

1486
01:18:19,904 --> 01:18:23,032
Hey, it's him, Lofty.
The one we had a description of.

1487
01:18:23,324 --> 01:18:24,575
Stolen property.

1488
01:18:24,658 --> 01:18:27,745
What?
A car emblem and an electronic rabbit?

1489
01:18:27,828 --> 01:18:30,915
Not just that.
We've got a list as long as your arm.

1490
01:18:31,040 --> 01:18:32,625
- All right, come on!
- What...

1491
01:19:16,085 --> 01:19:18,045
Where'd he go?
He can't just disappear.

1492
01:19:18,128 --> 01:19:19,922
Four men this way.
Four men that way.

1493
01:19:20,047 --> 01:19:22,091
Come along, now. Go up there.

1494
01:19:29,807 --> 01:19:31,183
Oh, thank goodness
you've come in time.

1495
01:19:31,267 --> 01:19:33,060
There's this mad Scotsman
chasing me.

1496
01:19:33,143 --> 01:19:34,979
- A What, madam?
- A Scotsman.

1497
01:19:35,104 --> 01:19:38,065
I think he's up for a football game
or something, but I'm sure he's drunk.

1498
01:19:38,148 --> 01:19:40,025
Scotsman, eh?
Got a kilt on, I suppose?

1499
01:19:40,109 --> 01:19:41,777
Yes. A McGregor tartan.

1500
01:19:42,111 --> 01:19:45,072
Joe, you don't suppose
he's one of the Lloyd's gang?

1501
01:19:45,155 --> 01:19:46,407
Where is he, madam?

1502
01:19:47,241 --> 01:19:49,618
There he is!

1503
01:19:50,744 --> 01:19:52,955
Oh, please help me!

1504
01:20:09,847 --> 01:20:11,056
Ah! Oh!

1505
01:20:13,058 --> 01:20:14,351
Come back here!

1506
01:20:16,603 --> 01:20:18,272
Look out below!

1507
01:20:18,564 --> 01:20:19,690
Look out!

1508
01:20:33,996 --> 01:20:36,123
Get that thing out of here!
Get it out of here!

1509
01:20:36,206 --> 01:20:37,916
Get out of here!

1510
01:20:41,837 --> 01:20:43,172
You idiot!

1511
01:21:08,739 --> 01:21:09,948
Into the river, eh?

1512
01:21:10,616 --> 01:21:11,658
Now, then...

1513
01:21:12,409 --> 01:21:15,079
That must be about, er...
three fathoms.

1514
01:21:16,080 --> 01:21:17,164
Right.

1515
01:21:25,839 --> 01:21:27,883
Psst-psst-psst-psst-psst-psst-psst-psst!

1516
01:21:32,388 --> 01:21:36,475
Have you any idea where
I could get hold of a diving suit?

1517
01:21:40,521 --> 01:21:41,814
Well, I only asked.

1518
01:21:42,898 --> 01:21:45,067
Good night, officer.

1519
01:22:09,133 --> 01:22:10,801
Poppy, darling,
where have you been?

1520
01:22:11,802 --> 01:22:13,554
You missed dinner last night.

1521
01:22:13,679 --> 01:22:15,097
What have you been doing?

1522
01:22:15,222 --> 01:22:17,724
You should know.
I was getting you these.

1523
01:22:17,891 --> 01:22:19,601
Poppy, you're sensational!

1524
01:22:19,726 --> 01:22:22,354
You know Carol and Lesley.

1525
01:22:23,439 --> 01:22:25,732
They're friends of Bill's.
Oh, you know Bill.

1526
01:22:25,858 --> 01:22:28,193
Well, make room for Poppy, chaps.

1527
01:22:30,654 --> 01:22:31,613
I feel awful.

1528
01:22:31,864 --> 01:22:33,240
I'm quite sure you do.

1529
01:22:33,407 --> 01:22:35,826
It must have been
those wonderful oysters you brought.

1530
01:22:35,909 --> 01:22:37,453
I must have got a bad one.

1531
01:22:39,037 --> 01:22:40,664
Oh, do something. Get help.

1532
01:22:41,623 --> 01:22:43,208
- Help! Help!
- I'm dying.

1533
01:22:43,417 --> 01:22:44,960
I'm dying.

1534
01:22:45,043 --> 01:22:48,130
Never mind, Fitzy. I'll stick by you.
You'll be all right.

1535
01:22:51,049 --> 01:22:52,885
I told you not to touch
those foreign oysters, sir.

1536
01:22:53,177 --> 01:22:54,845
This is Captain Tabasco's suite.

1537
01:22:54,970 --> 01:22:56,555
Get me an ambulance
here immediately!

1538
01:23:00,642 --> 01:23:03,896
Well, Fitzy, I must say
you really do deserve it.

1539
01:23:03,979 --> 01:23:06,064
You really do!

1540
01:23:06,190 --> 01:23:08,066
It... It really is funny!

1541
01:23:12,029 --> 01:23:14,531
It really is terribly funny!

1542
01:23:28,921 --> 01:23:31,089
<i>Oh, c'est quoi? Qui s'est?</i>

1543
01:23:31,298 --> 01:23:33,383
Ssh, ssh-ssh.
It's, er... It's only me.

1544
01:23:33,467 --> 01:23:35,886
Tim. You remember, I, er...

1545
01:23:35,969 --> 01:23:37,930
I danced with you at the TV studio.

1546
01:23:38,055 --> 01:23:38,889
Tim?

1547
01:23:40,349 --> 01:23:42,476
It's three o'clock in the morning.

1548
01:23:43,185 --> 01:23:44,561
Oh, I mean...

1549
01:23:45,187 --> 01:23:47,147
You keep turning up everywhere.

1550
01:23:47,940 --> 01:23:49,399
I'm not dreaming, am I?

1551
01:23:50,234 --> 01:23:51,693
I'm, er...
just a fake dream

1552
01:23:51,818 --> 01:23:55,239
that breaks into houses,
and gets chased all over town.

1553
01:23:56,240 --> 01:23:57,908
Oh, I don't understand.

1554
01:23:58,033 --> 01:24:00,369
Would you like a cup of tea?

1555
01:24:01,119 --> 01:24:02,329
Some coffee?

1556
01:24:04,790 --> 01:24:08,168
Oh, you're asleep.
See you in the morning.

1557
01:24:13,423 --> 01:24:14,508
Oh!

1558
01:24:14,591 --> 01:24:15,884
It-It's a...

1559
01:24:15,968 --> 01:24:17,636
Oh!

1560
01:24:17,719 --> 01:24:19,221
It-It's a cave-in!

1561
01:24:20,389 --> 01:24:22,891
I'll kill that Foskett.
I'll kill him!

1562
01:24:30,148 --> 01:24:32,985
The replica's gone, too.
We can't even use that!

1563
01:24:35,279 --> 01:24:37,447
Who's responsible
for things like this?

1564
01:24:38,448 --> 01:24:41,451
If it comes down to
maintenance and decoration, me.

1565
01:24:41,702 --> 01:24:44,288
Then you'd better get
something done, hadn't you?

1566
01:24:45,622 --> 01:24:46,915
Well, what are you going to do?

1567
01:24:46,999 --> 01:24:49,001
I suppose it was insured.

1568
01:24:52,462 --> 01:24:53,463
Well, was it?

1569
01:24:55,716 --> 01:24:58,135
The world's leading
insurance organisation,

1570
01:24:58,218 --> 01:25:01,430
and we haven't covered our most
cherished and historic possession?

1571
01:25:01,513 --> 01:25:04,141
<i>Music continues
With an orchestral selection</i>

1572
01:25:04,224 --> 01:25:06,518
<i>of the hits of French
recording star Sylvie Tarnet.</i>

1573
01:25:06,602 --> 01:25:09,062
One French-cooked English breakfast.

1574
01:25:09,187 --> 01:25:10,897
One? What about you?

1575
01:25:10,981 --> 01:25:12,733
Oh, I love the English breakfast,

1576
01:25:12,858 --> 01:25:14,526
but it makes me fat.

1577
01:25:14,860 --> 01:25:17,779
Don't you have anyone to cook for you?
I mean, er...

1578
01:25:17,863 --> 01:25:19,114
You're a star.

1579
01:25:19,197 --> 01:25:20,949
I'm a French girl.

1580
01:25:21,074 --> 01:25:22,784
All French girls cook.

1581
01:25:23,118 --> 01:25:25,120
So, now you go back to the Army,

1582
01:25:25,203 --> 01:25:27,039
like a good boy,
to win your test.

1583
01:25:27,164 --> 01:25:28,165
<i>Look, baby...</i>

1584
01:25:28,415 --> 01:25:30,334
You're up at seven to fly to Amsterdam.

1585
01:25:30,417 --> 01:25:32,919
I guess we both have to do
a few things we don't like.

1586
01:25:33,170 --> 01:25:34,921
Oh, I should like to take a plane.

1587
01:25:35,047 --> 01:25:36,590
But not to Amsterdam.

1588
01:25:36,673 --> 01:25:39,134
To Nice.
And then on to Vallauris.

1589
01:25:39,509 --> 01:25:40,844
It's so lovely there.

1590
01:25:41,595 --> 01:25:43,764
Tell me.
The Army, you like it?

1591
01:25:44,264 --> 01:25:45,807
My father liked it.

1592
01:25:46,725 --> 01:25:47,934
He's a general.

1593
01:25:48,769 --> 01:25:50,896
That's the only reason
I'd like to win this test, really.

1594
01:25:50,979 --> 01:25:53,231
He'd like it, and then
I could quit while I was ahead.

1595
01:25:53,482 --> 01:25:54,941
Oh, then you must win.

1596
01:25:55,067 --> 01:25:57,778
Yeah, I need the Lutine Bell for that.

1597
01:25:57,903 --> 01:25:59,529
Like I said earlier,

1598
01:25:59,655 --> 01:26:01,198
it's at the bottom of the Thames river.

1599
01:26:01,365 --> 01:26:03,867
But the Thames is out in the morning.

1600
01:26:04,284 --> 01:26:07,412
It is, how you say,
out with the tide.

1601
01:26:07,496 --> 01:26:09,831
And your precious bell
will be sitting in the mud.

1602
01:26:22,636 --> 01:26:24,805
There's no-one in.
She's gone to 'Olland.

1603
01:26:24,888 --> 01:26:25,639
Oh!

1604
01:26:25,806 --> 01:26:27,599
Was there a young man here?
An American?

1605
01:26:27,683 --> 01:26:29,518
I don't know.
I've just got here, ain't I?

1606
01:26:29,643 --> 01:26:30,894
Well, he can't have forgotten.

1607
01:26:31,019 --> 01:26:33,271
He's due at the finish line
at ten o'clock.

1608
01:26:38,777 --> 01:26:40,404
Oi! Hold it!

1609
01:26:44,074 --> 01:26:47,202
Thank you, Mrs Nash.
Sorry to have troubled you so early.

1610
01:26:48,286 --> 01:26:49,454
What did she say?

1611
01:26:49,579 --> 01:26:50,872
Oh, that was Annabelle's mother.

1612
01:26:50,997 --> 01:26:52,749
She said Annabelle
left the house at seven-thirty

1613
01:26:52,833 --> 01:26:55,794
with my sack of objects,
to go get your hair and photo.

1614
01:26:55,877 --> 01:26:56,920
Hey, it's eight-thirty.

1615
01:26:57,003 --> 01:26:58,839
I only got an hour and a half
to get back to camp.

1616
01:26:58,922 --> 01:27:01,299
- I'll only just make it.
- Okay. Let's go.

1617
01:27:12,018 --> 01:27:13,437
I can still make it.

1618
01:27:13,729 --> 01:27:15,021
I'm sure I can.

1619
01:27:16,398 --> 01:27:17,607
I'll show 'em.

1620
01:27:18,024 --> 01:27:19,776
Might not get home,
but I'll get through.

1621
01:27:20,193 --> 01:27:21,027
I'll show 'em.

1622
01:27:30,704 --> 01:27:32,706
We've just been overtaken
by a woman driver.

1623
01:27:32,789 --> 01:27:34,040
Look, lie down, mate. You're ill.

1624
01:27:34,291 --> 01:27:36,084
I'd bribe him if I were you, darling.

1625
01:27:36,168 --> 01:27:38,044
Good idea!
Here's ten pounds.

1626
01:27:38,170 --> 01:27:40,130
For Heaven's sake, get on with it, fellow.
Overtake her!

1627
01:27:46,928 --> 01:27:49,097
Of course, you're under no obligation
to make a further statement

1628
01:27:49,181 --> 01:27:50,515
- unless you want to.
- Yeah.

1629
01:27:50,599 --> 01:27:52,476
- But, er, what about this, then?
- What's that?

1630
01:27:52,934 --> 01:27:55,020
Two hundred dozen cases
of strawberry jam.

1631
01:27:55,103 --> 01:27:56,730
That was for General Lockwood, too.

1632
01:27:56,855 --> 01:27:58,774
His wife wanted to donate
to a church bazaar.

1633
01:27:58,899 --> 01:28:00,025
Mm-hmm.

1634
01:28:00,358 --> 01:28:02,319
And then there was
another voucher last year.

1635
01:28:02,903 --> 01:28:05,864
Why should General Lockwood
want to requisition three motor cars?

1636
01:28:06,114 --> 01:28:07,991
Ah, teaching his daughter to drive.

1637
01:28:08,074 --> 01:28:09,534
You know what these girls are.

1638
01:28:09,659 --> 01:28:13,038
No, I tell you. You think it's me,
but I'm just their tool.

1639
01:28:13,163 --> 01:28:15,582
They're all at it,
especially General Lockwood.

1640
01:28:23,673 --> 01:28:24,841
Hey, you!

1641
01:28:25,133 --> 01:28:26,676
You thieving Scotch git!

1642
01:28:27,469 --> 01:28:29,137
Bring that flower back here!

1643
01:28:47,030 --> 01:28:48,406
Sydney!

1644
01:28:49,658 --> 01:28:50,826
It can't be.

1645
01:28:51,743 --> 01:28:53,370
Sydney McGregor!

1646
01:28:53,495 --> 01:28:56,289
Suez!
Suez Canal, remember?

1647
01:28:56,414 --> 01:28:58,083
Suez Canal, Suez Canal...

1648
01:28:58,542 --> 01:29:00,544
You're Harry Perkins, Paratroopers.

1649
01:29:00,669 --> 01:29:04,339
"Who comes first? The 41st!"

1650
01:29:04,840 --> 01:29:06,007
Syd, my old darlin'!

1651
01:29:06,091 --> 01:29:07,008
After all these years!

1652
01:29:07,133 --> 01:29:08,218
Here, come on,
we gotta have a drink.

1653
01:29:08,301 --> 01:29:10,637
Oh, Harry, that's very nice of you.
But I happen to be on duty, actually.

1654
01:29:10,720 --> 01:29:12,222
You were always too regimental, Syd.

1655
01:29:13,974 --> 01:29:17,143
Oh, I'll never forget
what you did for me, eh?

1656
01:29:17,269 --> 01:29:20,438
You remember that little Egyptian dancer
you introduced me to, eh?

1657
01:29:20,647 --> 01:29:22,274
Yes, well, of course,
a lot of, er, water

1658
01:29:22,399 --> 01:29:24,651
has flown down the Suez Canal
since those days.

1659
01:29:24,734 --> 01:29:27,279
- I'm a respectable man now.
- You always were respectable, Syd.

1660
01:29:27,404 --> 01:29:30,824
That's why it made it a little bit, er,
you know, different.

1661
01:29:31,283 --> 01:29:34,369
But I'll always be very, very grateful
for what you did.

1662
01:29:34,494 --> 01:29:37,998
Oh, good. Well, there is a small favour
you might like to do in return.

1663
01:29:38,123 --> 01:29:40,750
I was wondering,
do you intend going up today?

1664
01:29:42,002 --> 01:29:43,503
D'you wanna join us?

1665
01:29:43,587 --> 01:29:45,881
'Course, you can come up with us,
Syd, lovey.

1666
01:29:45,964 --> 01:29:47,382
You can come up and watch.

1667
01:29:47,507 --> 01:29:48,758
No, er, as a matter of fact,

1668
01:29:48,842 --> 01:29:51,261
I was wondering whether you'd like to
drop me off somewhere.

1669
01:29:51,344 --> 01:29:53,054
We're ready to go up now, Harry.

1670
01:29:53,179 --> 01:29:55,265
We're all ready to go up.

1671
01:29:55,390 --> 01:29:58,310
This is Syd McGregor of the 41st.

1672
01:29:58,435 --> 01:30:00,186
And he's going up with us.

1673
01:30:05,942 --> 01:30:08,570
Sydney, this could be a big mistake.

1674
01:30:10,614 --> 01:30:11,239
Oh...

1675
01:30:12,198 --> 01:30:15,744
Ah, Foskett, twelve minutes
to final deadline, eh?

1676
01:30:15,869 --> 01:30:16,745
- Er...
- That right?

1677
01:30:16,828 --> 01:30:18,330
Um, eleven, sir.

1678
01:30:18,455 --> 01:30:20,415
Eleven, is it?
Interesting to see who wins.

1679
01:30:20,498 --> 01:30:22,459
He might find himself
with a bell on his hands!

1680
01:30:23,919 --> 01:30:25,253
- Right, sir, right.
- Yes.

1681
01:30:25,587 --> 01:30:27,881
- Marking's going to be a bit tricky.
- Marking? What's that?

1682
01:30:27,964 --> 01:30:29,049
Think I've worked it out, though.

1683
01:30:29,215 --> 01:30:30,800
You see, now,
if we have two competitors

1684
01:30:30,967 --> 01:30:32,844
with the same time
and four objects each,

1685
01:30:32,969 --> 01:30:35,055
I work out a logarithmic scale...

1686
01:30:35,138 --> 01:30:37,140
Well, don't bother about that.
Any tea? Any tea laid on?

1687
01:30:37,223 --> 01:30:38,892
- Oh, in-in the tent, sir. There.
- Good. Come along.

1688
01:30:39,017 --> 01:30:41,019
Let's have a cup of tea.
Just time, just time. Come on.

1689
01:30:44,898 --> 01:30:46,983
I hope you are right
about your girlfriend.

1690
01:30:47,067 --> 01:30:49,194
My ex-girlfriend.
No, don't worry about her.

1691
01:30:49,319 --> 01:30:50,820
She'll be there at the camp
with the things.

1692
01:30:50,946 --> 01:30:52,697
Good. Oh!

1693
01:30:52,864 --> 01:30:54,324
<i>- Hello, Sylvie?</i>
- Yes, Barry.

1694
01:30:54,407 --> 01:30:56,618
<i>- Why aren't you in Amsterdam?</i>
- No, I'm not in Amsterdam.

1695
01:30:57,118 --> 01:30:58,912
I'm getting a later plane.

1696
01:30:59,496 --> 01:31:02,123
And you can cancel
the recording session tomorrow night.

1697
01:31:02,374 --> 01:31:04,834
- I'm going on holiday.
<i>- How long for?</i>

1698
01:31:04,960 --> 01:31:07,045
- Oh, as long as it takes.
<i>- You can't do this to me!</i>

1699
01:31:07,128 --> 01:31:09,339
All right, Barry, two weeks.

1700
01:31:10,006 --> 01:31:12,258
I've wanted to tell him that for a year.

1701
01:31:21,977 --> 01:31:23,687
I'm winning!
I'll show 'em!

1702
01:31:23,770 --> 01:31:24,980
I'll Win it!

1703
01:31:25,313 --> 01:31:27,524
Perhaps they've
met with some disaster.

1704
01:31:27,607 --> 01:31:30,485
Up to you to inform
the next of kin, remember?

1705
01:31:30,568 --> 01:31:33,154
They'll come back, sir. Probably.

1706
01:31:33,279 --> 01:31:35,573
I say, sir, there's
an aeroplane up there.

1707
01:31:36,324 --> 01:31:39,119
<i>♪ A group of young squaddies</i>

1708
01:31:39,494 --> 01:31:41,871
♪ One night on a camp ♪

1709
01:31:41,955 --> 01:31:43,415
Sing up, Syd.

1710
01:31:43,832 --> 01:31:47,335
♪ Were talking of sweethearts and... ♪

1711
01:31:47,419 --> 01:31:48,878
This is the life, eh, Syd?

1712
01:31:49,087 --> 01:31:51,256
Quite, quite, yes. It's the life.

1713
01:31:51,381 --> 01:31:54,551
Tell me, what do you do these days?
Is it much of a living?

1714
01:31:54,634 --> 01:31:57,429
Well, the only publicity
you get is if you croak.

1715
01:31:58,430 --> 01:31:59,472
If you croak?

1716
01:32:00,181 --> 01:32:01,266
Right, that's it!

1717
01:32:01,391 --> 01:32:02,434
Hey, what you doing?
Where you going?

1718
01:32:02,559 --> 01:32:04,144
I'm not jumping,
and that's for certain.

1719
01:32:04,269 --> 01:32:04,936
- Syd.
- What?

1720
01:32:05,020 --> 01:32:09,107
After all you've done for me,
this is the least I can do for you.

1721
01:32:09,190 --> 01:32:10,608
I'm gonna fall!

1722
01:32:11,067 --> 01:32:12,152
I don't wanna fall!

1723
01:32:12,444 --> 01:32:14,404
Geronimo!

1724
01:32:15,321 --> 01:32:16,906
Syd, pull the chain!

1725
01:32:17,198 --> 01:32:18,908
Pull the chain, Syd!

1726
01:32:21,745 --> 01:32:23,830
Good show, whoever it is.

1727
01:32:24,039 --> 01:32:26,124
Watch out below! Whoops!

1728
01:32:26,249 --> 01:32:27,917
Oh, it's quite pleasant, actually.

1729
01:32:28,877 --> 01:32:31,087
♪ By yon bonnie banks

1730
01:32:31,171 --> 01:32:34,299
♪ And by yon bonnie braes... ♪

1731
01:32:34,799 --> 01:32:36,509
Very good. Very good!

1732
01:32:36,634 --> 01:32:37,844
What's that noise?

1733
01:32:37,927 --> 01:32:39,179
Sounds like an ambulance.

1734
01:32:43,058 --> 01:32:44,184
Oh!

1735
01:32:53,568 --> 01:32:55,653
Do come along, fellows.
Fitzy must be first.

1736
01:32:55,904 --> 01:32:57,781
Come on, then.
Down we go.

1737
01:32:57,947 --> 01:32:59,199
Come on.
Here's the finishing line.

1738
01:32:59,908 --> 01:33:01,534
- There's no hurry.
- I've told you before, this is a race!

1739
01:33:16,508 --> 01:33:18,218
Jolly good!
Wonderful landing, eh?

1740
01:33:31,356 --> 01:33:32,524
That one with the grey hair.

1741
01:33:33,274 --> 01:33:34,818
After them. Faster!

1742
01:33:38,863 --> 01:33:40,698
Victory is mine!

1743
01:33:41,825 --> 01:33:43,493
Great Gael luck!

1744
01:33:50,291 --> 01:33:51,668
Look at that lot! Look!

1745
01:33:54,504 --> 01:33:56,506
Careful, sir,
you'll get trifle all over your...

1746
01:33:56,589 --> 01:33:58,800
There goes the beautiful tea party.

1747
01:33:59,217 --> 01:34:01,261
Oh, dear.
Isn't that my friend Greg?

1748
01:34:01,511 --> 01:34:04,264
He must think he's a mole.
He's always coming out of the ground.

1749
01:34:05,390 --> 01:34:08,184
I've got it! I've got it, sir!
I've done it!

1750
01:34:08,434 --> 01:34:10,770
I've won it.
Look, I've got the electric hare, sir.

1751
01:34:10,854 --> 01:34:12,897
I've got that rose, that Lady Mac-flower.

1752
01:34:13,606 --> 01:34:15,608
- I've done it!
- Take him away.

1753
01:34:15,733 --> 01:34:17,902
- Take him out of here.
- I've got the plaster ducks in here, too.

1754
01:34:17,986 --> 01:34:20,446
They're in the bottom of this sack here.
Look! Look at that!

1755
01:34:20,572 --> 01:34:22,157
Yeah, look at that!
It was on the wall.

1756
01:34:22,240 --> 01:34:23,616
If you'd like to line up
with the others...

1757
01:34:23,700 --> 01:34:24,909
What? No, I've won it!

1758
01:34:25,160 --> 01:34:27,078
- That's the idea.
- But I've done it!

1759
01:34:29,706 --> 01:34:31,457
No, I've won it! I've won it!

1760
01:34:31,875 --> 01:34:33,459
All right, chaps, get in line.
That's right.

1761
01:34:34,586 --> 01:34:37,463
Come along. Now, you stand over there.
There with the sergeant major.

1762
01:34:37,589 --> 01:34:40,008
Right, everybody, now,
settle down, will you?

1763
01:34:40,133 --> 01:34:41,467
Nice to see your entrance,
Sergeant Major.

1764
01:34:41,593 --> 01:34:42,844
- Sir, was that sark?
- Splendid.

1765
01:34:42,927 --> 01:34:45,597
Ambulance Corps? Oh.
Very nice of you to come.

1766
01:34:45,680 --> 01:34:47,390
Hello! Have a good time?

1767
01:34:48,141 --> 01:34:49,142
Oh, another one.

1768
01:34:49,267 --> 01:34:51,519
Oh, there, you've got it.
Excellent. Well done.

1769
01:34:51,603 --> 01:34:53,479
We're ready for inspection, sir.

1770
01:34:53,605 --> 01:34:55,899
Right, men! Atten... hut!

1771
01:34:59,777 --> 01:35:01,237
- What are you doing down there?
- It's my tunnel!

1772
01:35:01,321 --> 01:35:02,739
- It's started collapsing.
- Get them back!

1773
01:35:02,864 --> 01:35:04,073
- They're all in my tunnel.
- Sir!

1774
01:35:05,200 --> 01:35:05,909
Sir!

1775
01:35:22,425 --> 01:35:24,427
You'd better get the objects handed in.

1776
01:35:26,554 --> 01:35:29,807
A fiasco! Complete disaster!
It's your fault.

1777
01:35:29,933 --> 01:35:31,559
No, it's not...
It's not my fault. It's them.

1778
01:35:31,684 --> 01:35:33,770
They're an absolute shower, sir.

1779
01:35:33,895 --> 01:35:35,230
- Look, you can see...
- What's this?

1780
01:35:35,355 --> 01:35:38,191
- Oh, Morton. It is Morton, isn't it?
- Well, here they are.

1781
01:35:38,274 --> 01:35:40,526
Every one of them. Thank you.
Even the Lutine Bell.

1782
01:35:40,652 --> 01:35:42,779
Oh, you've won.
Righto, then, Morton.

1783
01:35:42,904 --> 01:35:44,364
You're the winner.
Congratulations.

1784
01:35:44,489 --> 01:35:46,324
- What's this?
- Ah, that's my resignation, sir.

1785
01:35:46,407 --> 01:35:48,660
Could you please see that that
gets to my Air Force General?

1786
01:35:48,868 --> 01:35:51,412
Resignation? What do you think
you're doing? You can't resign.

1787
01:35:51,704 --> 01:35:53,289
I'm sorry, sir. I just did.

1788
01:35:53,623 --> 01:35:55,375
Well, I have a plane to catch.

1789
01:35:56,376 --> 01:35:58,670
Amsterdam first.
Then Nice, I think.

1790
01:35:58,795 --> 01:36:01,214
If you ever have a war, though,
please let me know who wins.

1791
01:36:03,383 --> 01:36:05,301
I say, sir, what a gesture.

1792
01:36:05,426 --> 01:36:07,762
Gesture?
More like mutiny to me, my boy.

1793
01:36:08,012 --> 01:36:09,847
General Lockwood?

1794
01:36:10,014 --> 01:36:12,517
Oh, now we've got people in bowler hats.

1795
01:36:12,809 --> 01:36:14,227
Ministry of Defence.

1796
01:36:14,352 --> 01:36:16,646
Acting on information
received by the civil police,

1797
01:36:16,729 --> 01:36:18,273
I have a warrant for your arrest.

1798
01:36:18,398 --> 01:36:19,148
Arrest?

1799
01:36:19,274 --> 01:36:21,359
Misappropriation of military
and other equipment

1800
01:36:21,442 --> 01:36:23,236
- over a period of several years.
- But...

1801
01:36:23,319 --> 01:36:25,697
I always warned you it couldn't last,
didn't I, sir?

1802
01:36:25,822 --> 01:36:27,991
- What are you talking about?
- Well, all those requisitions you signed.

1803
01:36:28,074 --> 01:36:29,951
I went down on my knees to him
many a time.

1804
01:36:30,034 --> 01:36:33,454
"Sir," I said, "you know it can't last.
They're bound to catch up with you."

1805
01:36:33,830 --> 01:36:35,873
Oh, sir, how could you?

1806
01:36:36,541 --> 01:36:38,668
That's enough now.
I want a long statement from you.

1807
01:36:38,751 --> 01:36:40,295
Pleasure.
I must do what's right.

1808
01:36:40,545 --> 01:36:41,337
Ready, sir?

1809
01:36:41,462 --> 01:36:42,839
I most certainly am not!

1810
01:36:42,964 --> 01:36:44,549
Take your hands off me!

1811
01:36:45,550 --> 01:36:49,429
He must have had a difficult childhood.
I'd love to get the case history.

1812
01:36:50,013 --> 01:36:53,474
I hope you're sure of your facts, my man.
You're making a big mistake.

1813
01:36:54,684 --> 01:36:57,353
Come on, Poppy, we'll leave
all this rubbish. I'll call a taxi.

1814
01:36:57,437 --> 01:36:59,897
When we get back to London, do you think
I could have something to eat...

1815
01:37:00,898 --> 01:37:03,609
Quick as you can, lads. I want to
send this back by the afternoon mail.

1816
01:37:08,239 --> 01:37:09,073
Oh, I say!

1817
01:37:13,119 --> 01:37:14,912
- Major Foskett?
- Yes.

1818
01:37:15,163 --> 01:37:17,206
Are you responsible
for this bell being here?

1819
01:37:17,749 --> 01:37:19,625
Bell? What bell?

1820
01:37:19,751 --> 01:37:21,419
I'm arresting you
for conspiracy to steal

1821
01:37:21,502 --> 01:37:23,546
and for certain other charges
to be investigated.

1822
01:37:23,629 --> 01:37:26,716
What?!
But... But... Captain...

1823
01:37:26,799 --> 01:37:28,926
No, but, really,
it wasn't my fault.

1824
01:37:29,010 --> 01:37:31,054
You see, it was this man
who came round to my school

1825
01:37:31,179 --> 01:37:34,474
and he said that the Army needs
a psychiatrist, and I believed him.

1826
01:37:34,849 --> 01:37:37,769
Timmy, you can't just go!
What's going to happen to me?

1827
01:37:37,894 --> 01:37:41,189
Believe me, Annabelle, what I'm doing
is for your own good.

1828
01:37:41,689 --> 01:37:43,900
After all we've
been through together.

1829
01:37:43,983 --> 01:37:46,402
Oh, he must lead his own life,
you know.

1830
01:37:46,944 --> 01:37:49,030
Look what happens when he does.

1831
01:37:50,365 --> 01:37:52,742
She'll never look after you
when you're old.

1832
01:37:53,993 --> 01:37:55,661
Thought you'd get away with it,
did you, Clegg?

1833
01:37:55,787 --> 01:37:56,537
Don't you worry.

1834
01:37:56,662 --> 01:37:59,165
We'll soon get this result
properly re-adjudicated.

1835
01:37:59,248 --> 01:38:00,792
That's nice, isn't it?

1836
01:38:00,917 --> 01:38:03,753
They've all gone. The whole lot of 'em.
Not so much as a "thank you"!

1837
01:38:04,462 --> 01:38:05,421
What?

1838
01:38:06,839 --> 01:38:07,924
- Gone?
- Yeah.

1839
01:38:09,342 --> 01:38:10,635
Oh, no!

1840
01:38:11,177 --> 01:38:13,805
That is not fair.
That's not the spirit of the Army.

1841
01:38:16,432 --> 01:38:18,559
I risked my neck
collecting these objects.

1842
01:38:18,684 --> 01:38:21,229
As far as I am concerned, you know what
you can do with the Army, don't ya?

1843
01:38:21,479 --> 01:38:23,689
A lot of jumped-up parasites,
that's what they are.

1844
01:38:23,856 --> 01:38:24,607
What did you say just then?

1845
01:38:24,732 --> 01:38:26,442
Keeping me away
from the wife all this time.

1846
01:38:26,567 --> 01:38:27,652
No, before that.
What did you say?

1847
01:38:27,819 --> 01:38:29,821
I said, "You know what
you can do with the Army."

1848
01:38:29,904 --> 01:38:31,781
- I know what I could do with the Army!
- Definitely.

1849
01:38:31,864 --> 01:38:33,533
Have you completely
taken leave of your senses?

1850
01:38:33,658 --> 01:38:34,826
- Stand up.
- You what?

1851
01:38:34,909 --> 01:38:36,411
Come here.
Stand up.

1852
01:38:39,205 --> 01:38:41,124
You must remember
that you're a soldier.

1853
01:38:41,249 --> 01:38:42,583
- Clean yourself up.
- Yeah.

1854
01:38:42,792 --> 01:38:44,043
- Do your tie.
- Yes, sir.

1855
01:38:44,377 --> 01:38:45,878
- Straighten up.
- Yes, sir.

1856
01:38:47,547 --> 01:38:49,257
Parade!

1857
01:38:49,632 --> 01:38:51,968
Atten... shun!

1858
01:38:52,343 --> 01:38:54,303
Forward turn!

1859
01:38:55,304 --> 01:38:57,056
Quick march!

1860
01:38:57,140 --> 01:39:01,144
Left, right, left, right.

1861
01:39:01,269 --> 01:39:02,687
March and stand tall!

1862
01:39:02,979 --> 01:39:04,647
Remember, you're a soldier.

1863
01:39:04,772 --> 01:39:07,024
- What are you?
- I'm a soldier!

1864
01:39:07,150 --> 01:39:10,027
- Cannot hear you! What are you?
- I'm a soldier!

1865
01:39:10,111 --> 01:39:12,738
- What are you?
- I'm a soldier!